Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Not-So-Great Cable Caper

On Saturday night our cable connection started getting flaky. We have one of the fastest cable subscriptions, but it was taking over a minute to load a single Internet page in a browser. Our cable company has been on the verge of bankruptcy, and we have experienced connectivity problems repeatedly over the past few months. We never know from one minute to the next whether we will be able to get onto the Internet. This affects me very negatively since I VPN into work from home. However, my company is at the mercy of the same cable company, so I wouldn't have much better luck working from the office.

In the past, my gelding Bombay has dug up the cable and bit into it, because he thought it was a root. I've had to get the cable company out here twice to lay a new cable, and they always lay it across the horse paddock. So, I piled river rocks over where they buried the cable to prevent the horses from digging it up. The last time the cable company came out, it was because they had laid the cable right over the top of our septic tank cover, and the septic tank pumpers broke it.

I said, "Enough is enough! You have to change the route of that cable!" I made them bury it along the outside of all the horse pens, following the fence line so that we always know exactly where it is. However, they didn't have time to bury it more than half an inch under ground. They said they'd send out a digger crew to take care of burying the new cable, and I called for them to do this twice, but they never showed up.

So, within a couple of days my neighbor's gardener showed up with a weed whacker and started whacking along the fence line where the cable was strung. I warned him of the cable not being properly buried, and asked him to be careful not to cut the cable. Then when I let the horses out on the RV lane to eat weeds, they always made a beeline for the location of the cable, because the cable company had disturbed the dirt there just enough to make a lot of weeds grow along the path of the cable. I had to keep shooing the horses away from that area and encourage them to eat elsewhere.

So, on Saturday night when our cable got flaky on us, I remembered my mare Gabbrielle had been eating along the cable path again. My son and I grabbed flashlights and went outside at 9:30 at night with me in my skimpy pajamas to inspect the cable. I wanted to see if Gabbrielle had dug it up and bit into it. I wasn't worried about going out into the dark in my skimpy tap pants and pajama top, because who would see me other than the horses and my son?

So, I walked out my sliding glass door with my flashlight, which spooked my horses, triggering a stampede. I looked up and there was my nosy neighbor standing on her porch staring at me. She was on her way into her house after walking her dog at night (probably getting a good look inside the neighbors' windows which are all open to let cool air in), when she spotted my flashlight. Apparently, she thought that burglars were trying to break into our house, so she called to her husband to come out. The two of them stood on their porch and stared at us.

My son and I started talking, they heard our voices, and the woman said, "It's them."

At that point I thought they would go back into their house since they realized that it was just us and not burglars, but no. They continued to stand out there and stare at us while I was half-naked in my private yard digging around in the dirt at night with a flashlight. I had to be careful to keep my top closed when I bent over, because I figured that by then they probably had out their binoculars. They were so curious about what we were doing that they did not go back into their house until we went into ours. I was so irritated over the whole thing that I missed my opportunity to drop my pants and shine the flashlight on my butt. Actually, I considered it, but didn't want to embarrass my son.

I suspect they were still worried about burglars, because when I went outside in the wee hours of the morning to feed my horses, they had set their dog loose in the neighborhood to alert them if anything suspicious was going on. Everyone hates it when they do this, because their dog chases other people's pets and horses around terrorizing them. Of course, the dog started barking at me and running all over the place in a panic because God forbid the neighbor came out of her house to feed the horses. And how many mornings for how many years has this dog seen me do this? Anyway, the barking probably woke up the entire neighborhood. I said, "Awwww, shut up!" as loudly as I could to let the neighbors know that I didn't appreciate their rude awakening. I was still half asleep from working 7 days a week, 10 to 16 hours a day, and didn't need that.

I couldn't find a place where Gabbrielle had dug up the cable, and the Internet is fine this morning, so it must just be Charter Cable acting up again.


Lulu said...

Heck, I would have shown the neighbors your "full moon"!!!

I've been keeping horrible work hours for the last two weeks too. In fact, yesterday I got home from the horse show at 4pm and started working. I didn't finish things up until 2am. Talk about a long night.

AareneX said...

I agree with sounds like it's time to start feeding the horses in the nude. >g< Also walking the dog, collecting the mail, and everything else that your neighbors find so fascinating.

Then, maybe, they'll notice that they spend too much time watching YOU and not enough time minding their own beezwax!

If not, hey. Wear sunscreen.

Leah Fry said...

Oh yeah, I'd have mooned them for sure, and made smoochie sounds while I did it. Thanks for the LOL!

Paint Girl said...

Oh man, you should have mooned them! That would be quite the story!
Hopefully you can get the cable company out to get that cable in a deeper hole! I can't believe they said they didn't have time, they should make time! That is why we have to pay them so much money!
Thanks for the laughs!

Umatter2Charter said...


My name is Eric Ketzer, and I am a Manager with Charter Communications. It definitely sounds like you have some nosey neighbors and an intermittent issue with your cable and internet services. We cannot fix the neighbors, but we can certainly assist with the Charter issues. Please e-mail me the name, address, and phone number on your account to, and we'll get you taken care of. In the subject link of the e-mail, please include the name of your blog and my name, Eric.


Eric Ketzer
Communications Manager
Charter Communications

manker said...

mooning in a full moon.. you go git em

ps good for charter communications btw

fernvalley01 said...

Sounds like you are still keeping some sense of humor about it . I guess I am with the rest though next time moon them!

KD said...

You and your skimpy PJ's must be famous if the cable guy is reading your blog!! :-) I knew as soon as you said you went outside thinking that you would have the cover of darkness, that your nosy neighbors would be right there. At least the perv wasn't out.

Mary Olson said...

Read two posts today on irritating neighbors. Not sure if the neighbors are getting to be more intrusive or if the work/stress level is just getting to the point where things are more bothersome than usual. Either way, I love the humor! The things we restrain ourselves from for the sake of our children...

Shirley said...

Too funny, you and your son should have given them a double moon!

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Hey! It's the Cable Guy!! Yay!!!

Maybe you can both MOON the nosy neighbors together!

Now wouldn't that be exciting!



Oh, I swear, NM.....your life is never boring. But I bet you woulnd't mind a little bit of boredom sometimes.