Book Review: BASIC HORSE TRAINING by Michael Hockemeyer

The cover reads, "Kicking Bear Mustangs Presents BASIC HORSE TRAINING" by Michael Hockemeyer. I grabbed this book off my shelf and read it within a couple of hours after struggling with training my 4-year-old Arabian filly under saddle this weekend. Readers may recall that I have spent the past three years preparing Gabbrielle for under saddle training, and started riding her this spring. However, after she had a series of mysterious injuries I had to retire her to the paddock and pasture for the summer to heal. This weekend was the first time I attempted to ride her again after only about 5 days under saddle this past spring.

Though she was calm, this was the day I dreaded. All horse trainers, including Michael Hockemeyer, say that if a horse is going to test you, it won't be on the first ride. It will be one of the rides after that when the horse gets used to your routine.

Gabbrielle lunged really well and held still for the mount, but when it came time to move forward, she just kept taking one step back and swinging her hindquarters around so that she had me positioned over my step stool. I'd give her some rein and urge her forward, and she'd reposition herself right next to that step stool, but pointing in a different direction. I realized that she was either telling me to get off her, or she really thought that I was asking her to line herself up with that stool.

I use a metal utility stool that has two steps. At one point, the handle of the stool was partially under her belly. I could see that this was a recipe for disaster. I wasn't so much worried about her knocking it over and spooking from the noise, because she's knocked it over plenty of times with her nose and is used to the noise. I was worried that she'd get her feet tangled in the metal frame and panic, causing a wreck. Unfortunately, I couldn't dismount, because the stool was in the way. I haven't practiced dismounting off the right side, but I probably should have started that day. After much maneuvering, and her doing the opposite of what I asked, I saw my window and jumped, clearing the stool.

Michael Hockemeyer spends a good amount of time in his book discussing mounting a horse for the first time. He mentions that using a step stool or mounting block is not a good idea for those first few lessons for the reason I mentioned above. You are placing an object in the arena that the horse can collide with. Instead he recommends mounting from the fence. If you can't do that, he prefers mounting from the ground. He does a good job of giving specific details on how to perform each of these actions.

After tying Gabbrielle to a fence post, I went inside the house to request some help. My son came out and led us with the lead rope to assure that Gabbrielle moved away from the step stool. I had planned to let him lead me for a few rotations, and then unhook the lead rope and remove the stool from the arena. However, Gabbrielle chose this day to start testing me.

First she shook her entire body in an effort to dislodge me from the saddle. This was the most violent, long-lasting full-body shake I had ever experienced on the back of a horse. I clenched down with my thighs and knees, and leaned forward to adjust my balance, and waited it out. I was so glad that I didn't fall off, because that would have taught her that she can dislodge a rider by shaking, and shaking would become a habit.

Next she tried balking. She refused to move forward despite being led. I had to toughen up my cues to unlock her. Next she tried trotting right past my son, probably hoping to rip the lead rope out of his hands. Since she was on a lead rope, I had to slow her down to a walk. When I forced her to walk, she humped up her back, got her hind legs underneath her and began lowering her head to buck. I pulled her head up with the reins and gave her a firm NO!

The last straw was when she started moving backwards at a fairly fast rate while my son was trying to lead her forwards. I had trouble keeping my balance, and was worried about her persistence. Gabbrielle was so set on forcing an involuntary dismount that I was sure she'd think of something that would eventually succeed. So, I had my son hold the lead rope under her chin, and the second she came to a halt, I voluntarily dismounted. Gabbrielle turned her head toward me and let out an adorable THANK YOU nicker. It was hard not to forgive her antics after that.

I wrapped up the lesson by lunging her some more and being more persistent than her over getting what I want. I worked her like a drill sergeant until she knew the only way to end the lesson was to not step out of line.

In the introduction of his book, Michael Hockemeyer writes, "I quickly learned that most books and videos were great at showing you both point A and point C, but point B was almost never covered... I found myself buying books that were hundreds of pages long and getting some type of benefit from only five pages."

I can relate to that. Though his book is too small to cover everything about horse training, he does cover point B fairly well, in addition to points A and C, using simple, straight-forward language and diagrams. The main subjects he covers include basic ground training, getting saddled, and riding.

This serves as a perfect handbook for someone who has just adopted a wild mustang, as it starts from instructions on how to approach the horse for that first human touch. If you bought a fully trained horse from a breeder or trainer, the book may not be what you need, unless there are some holes in the horse's training. I fall somewhere in the middle, having bought my filly from an Arabian horse breeder as a yearling, and spending the past three years preparing her to be trained under saddle.

Though I already had trained my filly beyond what is covered in the first two-thirds of the book, I did find it helpful in the riding section. Hockemeyer discusses riding posture before talking about that first turn, backing, stopping, stepping forward, turning while walking, and going faster. Gabbrielle is at a point where she turns really well, especially while moving backwards, so now I just need to concentrate on getting her to move forward and halt consistently on cue.

Let's Talk Etiquette Over Sunday Tea

In the one and a half years that I've been blogging, I've been fortunate to attract a good set of blogger friends. Some of my very first blogger friends aren't blogging as much as they used to, and I miss them. I suspect that many of them have either stopped blogging or slowed down their blogging or limited their blogging to pictures and neutral comments because of some of the reasons I am about to mention. It seems that in recent weeks the number of flames, or insulting comments, have been increasing - mostly put out there by newer bloggers who haven't taken the time to get to know others.

I consider leaving nasty comments on people's sites as the equivalent of flipping the bird while driving down the road. My feelings are this... if you don't like what someone writes about, don't read it. If you keep going back and reading something that you dislike, then you are the one who has the problem. You might want to start managing your time more effectively.

I recently stopped following a bunch of blogs, because I was overwhelmed with keeping up with them. I thought, "My time is valuable, so why am I wasting my time reading about subjects I have no interest in, written by people who I have nothing in common with?" I cut the list down to just those blogs that I enjoy, look forward to reading, or benefit from in some way. I admit that I do write about the same subjects quite a bit, but that is mainly because I receive either requests for more posts on that subject, or I receive comments that some readers are interested in the subject. Unfortunately, there are always a few people who get sick of reading the same subject over and over, and try to stop it by insulting me. It's not necessary to insult me. Just stop reading my blog. Simple as that.

The other thing to think about is giving unsolicited advice. I feel that sharing horse training tips is always beneficial. Even if I already know what people have told me, I publish the comment in case someone else who doesn't know reads it and benefits from it. However, when you give obvious advice about life in general that anyone with common sense would know, it's as if you are assuming that the person you are speaking to is a moron. That's insulting.

Another thought: I, personally, don't mind if bloggers mention their struggles, because it gives me the opportunity to offer my support. It does help people feel relief to have people on the other side of the country or the world just say, "Hey, I hear what you are saying and I feel for you."

However, it is usually considered to be in bad taste to make comments like, "At least that's the only problem you have. It could be worse."

If a woman were raped, would you say, "At least you weren't murdered?"

If someone had cancer, would you say, "At least you're still alive?"

No, that would be inappropriate. People should be allowed to grieve without having Miss Sunshine forcing the positives into the situation. When people say things like that, it only shows that they are incapable of feeling empathy, or at the very least, sympathy for the plights of others.

I know that the intention of the person who says such things as "At least this or at least that..." is to make the other person feel better by thinking positively. However, it comes across in a different manner. It sounds more like, "How dare you complain about your problems. You should be grateful that something worse hasn't happened to you."

We are constantly sorting out who we want to spend time with based upon personalities and shared beliefs. If you don't like my personality, don't read my blog. I have several blogger friends who say things I don't always agree with, but I still find them interesting and appreciate reading their posts. Occasionally, a reader might leave a comment that starts a debate. As long as it is a respectful exchange of ideas, I welcome it. However, once you regress to name calling and insults aimed at the blogger or commenter, the effectiveness of the discussion degrades.

Now that I've got everyone reflecting on their comments and wondering if they insulted me, don't worry about it. I'm easy. I forgive quickly. I'm not really talking about any specific comments on my site, so don't bother sifting through in search of them. I've just noticed a series of comments on various websites in recent weeks that left a bad taste in my mouth, and had to say something to set the blog world right again. With that said, have you hugged your horse today?

Ring Ring... This is Gabbrielle Calling

I hadn't ridden Lostine since her last trail ride several weeks ago, so I wanted to take her for a spin in an arena this morning. My neighbor's painters are still parking next to my bathroom window at 6:30 every morning and painting that garage. I just don't get it. I can stain the outside of my barn with a paint brush in two days, so why does it take weeks for a professional crew with all the right equipment to paint a stinkin' garage? How many coats of paint does my neighbor need? Anyway, all the paint fumes, tarps flapping, compressor noises, hammering, and radio blasting made it unpleasant enough that I didn't want to ride at home.

Just as I was getting ready to catch Lostine to trailer her somewhere, my friend pulled up into my driveway and told me to ride at her place. I guess she noticed that it's getting harder and harder to ride on my property with all the activity in the neighborhood. My friend has many more acres than I do, and no neighbors near her riding arenas. Going to her place is a heck of a lot easier than trailering out. I can just walk my horse across the street. I had tweaked my back during my equitation lesson on Thursday, and I really didn't want to have to put too much an effort into riding today, so I accepted her offer. These are her only neighbors to the east...

Mighty good looking neighbors, if you ask me.

I am ashamed to say that I had zero control over Lostine. I couldn't control her speed and I couldn't control her steering. That's what happens when you have only one rider and three horses. Whichever horses are not being ridden on a regular basis turn into a handful during their time off. I feel like I spend so much time just retraining the basics. I had those reins cranked so tight and Lostine just kept alternating between a fast trot and a canter. Other than whoa, she just wasn't responding to any cues to slow her gaits. We were either stopped or we were rocketing down the rail. A nice, slow jog wasn't in the cards today.

Then I remembered the dressage exercises my equitation instructor taught me. He said you always trot up the center line, halt, salute the judges, and then start your routine. When I tried that with Bombay he got it perfect the first time and every time after that. When I tried that with Lostine, she couldn't even make it to the halt point without snaking back and forth or trotting sideways toward the side rail. So, I just did it over and over until finally she trotted in a straight line and halted immediately on cue. Then we did small circles, large circles, X's and serpentines. Fortunately, she calmed down since we had a goal that forced her to concentrate.

I realized that while Lostine does better on the trails than Bombay, Bombay does better in arenas. Lostine just doesn't have the patience to practice transitions along the rail of an arena, repeatedly going in circles. She wants to be out seeing the world. She probably feels that she doesn't get anything out of giving someone a ride in circles. Bombay, on the other hand, likes to learn new skills in safe places, but worries too much about bogeymen in bushes on trails.

I was so totally impressed with how Lostine walked right next to vehicles she's never seen before, wheelbarrows, sprinklers, boxes, cones, chairs, and whatnot without an inkling of concern. My friend was dragging cardboard boxes around, and Lostine totally ignored her. The trail riding I've done with her has made my friend's place a lot less scary for her. Earlier this spring she was snorting and leaping at anything in the landscape that looked slightly different from the ground... trees, rocks, baling twine, a stray piece of garbage... you name it.

When I got home, Gabbrielle was all over me...

She was so convinced that I was carrying treats in my cell phone case that was attached to my belt loop.

Then Bombay had to get in the game and start nibbling it too.

Just when I wasn't paying attention, Gabbrielle ripped the case right off my belt loop and took off running with my cell phone.

She dropped it on the ground and turned to pick it up again, but I grabbed it before she could step on it. I guess she needed to make a phone call. These horses are so silly.

Homecoming

When my husband came home from work last night and told me to turn on the news, I expected the worst. However, instead I found myself feeling such intense joy over the resurfacing of Jaycee Lee Dugard. The day of her kidnapping is one of the days in my life that I will never forget. Our community was so deeply affected by it. This one tragedy dictated how parents behaved from that day forward.

Our daughter was only one year old at the time. However, many years later when she entered school, I stood at the bus stop with her even though the bus stopped right in front of our house. On days when I could not stand with her, my husband sat in his car behind her and waited until he saw her get on the bus before he left for work. We were on a first-name basis with her bus driver, and made sure that she was familiar with our routine. I can only imagine the torture that Jaycee Lee's step dad put himself through for walking her to the bus stop and then heading for home before the bus arrived, telling himself over and over that he should have stayed with her. He actually saw her being abducted from a distance. You play something like that over and over in your head until you just wish you could put it on rewind and stop it from happening.

South Lake Tahoe is a small, safe community. Even where I live down in the valley was a small community 18 years ago. Everyone knew each other. No one ever locked their doors. There was no reason to even expect that your child would get kidnapped and held captive for one-quarter of her life. However, after Jaycee Lee's abduction, everyone expected it and took measures to prevent it.

I recall keeping an eye out for a car and driver with the description of Jaycee Lee's kidnappers for years afterward. I often thought of this child who I had never met, and wondered where she could be. I was certain that she was one of these rare cases of an abducted child who was still alive. Perhaps I got that feeling because the witness saw a woman driving the car that Jaycee Lee was pulled into. I also had a strong feeling she was somewhere in California, however that's probably because there isn't much east of us. Oddly enough, I've been thinking about her more lately than usual. Then we find out that she was able to put it all together in her head and get herself to a police station to tell her story.

My children have always disliked that we are so protective of them. I threw a fit my son's sophomore year of high school when the school district removed our house from their bus route. He had to start walking half a mile to the bus stop and home. I remember talking to the bus driver on the phone, trying to convince him to change his route, and him saying, "Oh, Mom, he's a big boy now. You can let him go. It won't hurt him to walk a ways."

I was furious with that man for being so hard-headed. Then I realized that perhaps this was an irrational fear that I had developed, all stemming from Jaycee Lee Dugard's kidnapping. I admit driving my son to and from the new bus stop a few times, but eventually I let him walk on his own. Nothing is more embarrassing for teenagers than to have their parents hovering nearby. Now I just pressure my kids to keep their cell phones with them and inform me if something happens to alter their schedule.

As parents we can do all the training in the world regarding stranger danger, but that doesn't mean our kids will listen. I remember doing role playing with my kids on how to handle different situations where a stranger approaches them, hoping that the role playing would make screaming and running away second nature. However, there were a couple of times when my kids told me stories that made my heart drop.

When my daughter was in middle school, the bus stop was still in front of our house, but by then I was just watching from the window instead of standing out there with her. I had seen the bus drop her off, and I went about my business waiting for her to walk in the door. She came in late, but I figured she was just dawdling. It turned out that a man in a car pulled up next to her to ask what town he was in. She told him, and he asked for directions. As she gave him directions, he asked her to come closer, because he couldn't hear her. Fortunately, she just spoke louder instead of moving closer. I told her there is something really odd about a grown man who asks a little girl for directions, and not knowing what town he is in.

On another occasion, my son and daughter were playing basketball in our driveway. A man in an RV pulled over in front of our house and walked right across our front lawn up to my kids and joined the basketball game. He then started asking my kids for directions. Again, that is not appropriate. If someone needs directions, they should stop at the 7-11 down the road. Don't ask a child. Most children can't even give directions. It sometimes makes me wonder if people who intend to kidnap a child ask directions because they want to see if the kid could find his way home.

Anyway, my daughter came in the house and asked me for directions and informed me that a man was outside playing basketball with our son. By the time I got out there, the man was gone. I had to remind my kids that they both should have immediately come inside the second that man started walking toward them on our property.

Recently, when I was out trail riding, I pulled my horse to the side of the trail to let a troop of Cub Scouts pass. I sat up there on my horse saying hello to these adorable little boys, and every one of them stared straight ahead and completely ignored me. Finally, one of the Cub Scout Leaders said hello in return. I thought their behavior was odd, as most kids would want to pet the horse, but then I realized that they had probably been instructed to not speak to strangers. Twenty years ago people could be friendly and get a friendly response in return, however now that kind of banter is reserved just between adults.

I am so sorry for Jaycee Lee, her parents, and for the ways in which this event affected our community. She's finally going home to people who love her. May she have nothing but the best from this day forward.

Final Lesson of the Year?

Of course there is no final lesson in life as long as we are living, but I may have just had my last equitation lesson of 2009. This is the last Thursday I get off from work, and my equitation instructor only comes into my area on Thursdays. My friend arranged for him to come out on Saturdays just for me and her granddaughter, but that fell through. Now he needs to reserve Saturdays for the kids in his area, since they are back in school.

Normally, we have our lessons in the barrel racing arena at the Fairgrounds, but someone was using it, so I claimed the dressage arena. That turned out to be a good move, because when I asked my instructor to leave me with some new skills to practice, he taught me some dressage. I remember he taught me dressage on our last lesson of the year last year too, which left me wanting more. In some ways I'm terrified of the dressage discipline, because I am incapable of memorizing more than two things at a time. On the other hand, it forces me to really DRIVE and keep rigid control of my horse, which makes me a better rider.

Usually, I'm pretty easygoing with my horses. You want to go fast? Okay, let's go fast. You tired today? That's okay, let's just take it easy and mosey along. These equitation lessons make me more aware that I tend to let my horses call the shots more than I should. I think of it as empathy and working together, but if I give the horse too much say in matters, I lose my role as leader. With dressage, I have a set of instructions I have to follow, which in turn my horse has to follow, so neither of us is really calling the shots. We both learn to follow, and I learn to lead my horse to meet those directions.

My instructor was pleased with our side-passing from the quarter line to the fence. He then drew two circles in the sand and told me to trot between the two lines in a circle, and if a horse hoof lands on a line, I owe him $500. If a horse hoof lands over either line, I owe him $1,000. After several rotations, I only owed him $500. He was impressed. He said, "You wouldn't believe how many of my students can't do this exercise."

I also had to work on keeping Bombay's attention on me. There was another horse nearby, and Bombay has a tendency to show off when other horses are around. He pumps himself up taller, raises his head high, and moves with more animation. My instructor got on my case each time he caught Bombay popping his head up to look at the other horse, so I had to keep fingering the reins and funneling him straight through my legs to stop the gawking.

I had a mystery solved regarding loping. When my instructor first started working with me last year, Bombay always loped off on the correct lead. However, once my instructor started giving me specific cues to use to get a more controlled transition, we lost the correct lead. He's put in a lot of hours trying to get me to feel the difference between the wrong lead and the right lead, but it's so subtle to me, I'm never quite sure. He says that from the ground we look like a mess when he picks of the wrong lead. I just wasn't getting it.

When I would simply give up and not try to give the cues, Bombay took off on the correct lead. When I gave the cues, Bombay took off on the wrong lead. So, I stopped my horse and asked my instructor one last time to describe what I should be doing with my legs. He always says, "Give him some leg now!"

I clamp down with my inside leg quickly, because I know my instructor will get testy if Bombay doesn't respond immediately when we are set up at an angle toward the fence. Bombay has a tendency to take several strides at the trot until he's straight along the fence before loping. So, two things are happening: He's losing his set up at the corner where he's turned toward the fence at an angle, and I have more inside leg on him than outside. So, basically, I'm asking him to take off at the wrong lead, and he's just following directions.

There are two things I have to do to pick up the correct lead. When he is lined up at an angle toward the fence, I have to urge him harder immediately into the lope so that we don't lose our position. Secondly, I'm suppose to just lightly lay my inside leg against the girth, and the majority of pressure comes from my outside leg behind the girth. The outside leg is what pushes the hips over. Somehow I got my signals crossed during lessons and picked up a bad habit. I'll have to spend some time practicing to make the right cues my new habit. I'm sure that Bombay is smart enough to adjust, but I'm another story.

When heading for home, I made a big Bozo no-no. I'm sharing my mistake with you, so that you don't do the same thing some day. I have a habit of loading the horse into the trailer and closing the side panel. I then walk to the outside of the window and pull the lead rope through the window. I don't detach the lead rope and attach the trailer tie until the back doors are shut. So, I shut the doors, detach the lead rope, attach the trailer tie, put the lead rope in the tack room, lock it, and get in my truck and drive.

However, I spaced out and forgot a couple of steps. I got in my truck and drove a few yards, then looked in the side view mirror and nearly soiled my pants. There was the lead rope still attached to my horse's head, dragging on the ground, just inches from the trailer tires. Had the trailer tires run over the rope, my horse's head would have been pulled forward and smashed against the window bars. Needless to say, I immediately stopped, and fixed the situation, apologizing profusely to Bombay for such a dangerous oversight.

I think in the future I will make a habit of walking the entire perimeter of the truck and trailer before getting behind the wheel. There was one time years ago when I drove 15 miles with people honking at me before I discovered that they were trying to tell me that I had a halter and lead rope hanging from each door handle of my trailer. If I had a horse in the trailer and people were honking at me, I would have pulled over right away. But the trailer was empty on this day, and I wasn't even sure if they were honking at me or if people were just being especially reactive in general that day. If the ropes had unraveled, I would have been dragging them on the ground behind the trailer, which could have caused an accident for a motorcyclist, or I could have just lost the halters. See what I mean? We are always learning lessons. Unfortunately, a lot of times we have to screw up before we even know that the lesson is there to be learned.

Looks Like It's Meant To Be

Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. I don't know what will happen in the future with my job, but my husband's job is fairly secure, which is something we couldn't say about either of our jobs since the late 1990's. We aren't sure how we are going to manage the expense of a kitchen remodel, but something happened to force our decision.

We agreed on getting the LG refrigerator to replace our old Magic Chef that is flaking out and leaking from some mysterious location, because the LG had good reviews and the interior was designed intelligently to provide maximum storage space. However, when my husband took a tape measure to our refrigerator slot in our kitchen, he discovered that none of today's refrigerators would fit. I guess they made refrigerators much smaller 20-something years ago. So, we have no choice but to replace our kitchen cabinets in order to make room for the new refrigerator.

Yes, we can knock out the cabinets around it, but then we'd lose more cabinet space, and our goal is to gain more space, not lose it. So, yesterday my husband ordered the refrigerator with instructions to deliver it in four weeks, and today he is putting the cabinets partially on credit. Sigh. I just paid off all our credit cards a few months ago. They are evil wallet-devouring creatures.

The designer visited our house yesterday and caught a measurement error made by the contractor. He fixed that on his plans, then said, "This remodel is going to make a huge difference for you. You will have more cabinet space, more counter space, and a more functional kitchen." That was the clincher for me. I needed him to actually see our kitchen in person, not just on paper and in photographs, and verify that we will actually end up with more space and not just new cabinets.

We're still not sure about whether we will be doing the remodel ourselves or hiring professionals or splitting the job. I think we will just need to get our hands into it first, then decide. It seems that on all those HGTV shows, house flippers usually end up having to call in professionals to the rescue. It would be nice if they didn't charge between $100 and $500 an hour. You know some rich contractor is going to gobble all of that up while some poor schmuck off the street or illegal alien who is desperate for work to support his growing family will end up doing all the hard labor for minimum wage. I don't like to support that kind of business. Any contractor we bring in our home better be on the up and up.

Just to illustrate how backwards some people can be in my area, I have heard several businessmen refer to their employees as "my Messikins." Ummmm. I'm sure these hard-working people have names and deserve to be treated with more respect. The other ignorant comment I hear that pushes my buttons is when people say, "Look at this mess that Obama got us into."

Say what? This mess started long before President Obama stepped up in difficult times to help out. Give the guy a break. He wasn't even in office for more than a few weeks, and the locals started griping about him not being able to clap his hands, click his heels three times, and magically turn the economy around. At least he's working on it and having some success. Look at how long people were losing their jobs and homes before the Bush Administration even noticed? Unfortunately, the effects of a twisted economy are far reaching and can still bite people long after positive changes have been made. Here's hoping we can all be in a position soon to keep America healthy and strong.

Kitchen Remodel: The Design Session

We had collected some catalogs and brochures of different cabinetry and counter top products to take home and discuss before our meeting with the designer. We had all agreed upon Honey Spice Maple cabinets with the Stratford Cathedral style. We needed something light, but not as light as natural, because we wanted our kitchen to look classy, not country. We're trying to get away from the cabin look. White was out of the question based upon the problems we've had with fingerprints and grease splatter. For me, it was just a matter of deciding whether we wanted Mocha highlights to bring out some contrast on the cabinets, or whether we should stick to the basic Honey Spice stain.

However, things can never be that simple. It turned out that the the cabinets we chose did not come in the sizes we needed to fully fill in the wall space in our kitchen. If the cabinet dimensions do not fit the kitchen dimensions, you just have to pick another brand of cabinets. The designer showed us our options. He pointed out that Honey Spice looks a bit plastic on the tighter grains like Maple, so we might want to consider Honey Spice on a different type of wood, such as Hickory. After he said that, I was looking at these cabinets from a different perspective. The Hickory had more variations in its grain, but the Honey Spice stain came out looking more yellow and less red on that wood. I wanted a warm hint of red, but not something as heavy as Cherry.

We picked out a different brand in Hickory, only to find out that they didn't have cabinet dimensions that fit with our kitchen dimensions too. There was one last brand of cabinets we could consider, but it didn't have the cathedral style. The closest style was an arch, which is what we have in our kitchen right now. We were hoping for something different with curves, because the boxy or rectangular grooves just seem too severe. The designer said that the cathedral style was falling out of popularity, so most brands are discontinuing it. That's my life story. My taste never seems to be in line with the rest of the teeming masses.

Our issue with curves, insets and overlays is how much dust will get caught in the grooves. When I raised this issue with the designer, he made a face of disgust. My husband explained that it doesn't matter how much cleaning we do. It's all in vain, because we live in a high wind area on a dirt road, and the dust settles quicker than we can wipe it up. So, we wanted some design on the cabinets to add character, but with a minimal number of corners, deep groves, and flat surfaces where dust can make itself at home. So, we chose an arch design with a long gradual slope to the groove.

Fortunately, Thomasville Cabinetry did have the dimensions we needed for our kitchen. They did not have a Honey Spice stain, so we needed to choose between Wheat or Cider. Cider had more red and less yellow, so we settled on that. Our designer lent us an extra door in that stain and style for us to take home. Once home we discovered that the color might be too dark for our kitchen. I was hoping the wood would match the wood in our new blinds, but the blinds are lighter. We may have to settle on the lighter, Natural color instead. Fortunately, we can change our minds as much as needed until the cabinets are actually installed. Our only time pressure is that we get $1,000 off our purchase in a special deal that ends in January of 2010. No problem there.

During the course of our design session, the man informed us that our kitchen ceiling is 3/4" lower than the standard amount, which results in the the upper cabinets having to be flush with the ceiling and being closer to the counter tops than normal. Our house was slapped together by some guy who never bothered to check for standards so that the people who lived in the house after him have to suffer through bringing everything up to code as soon as something breaks. Whether it's the plumbing, installing new appliances, or hanging a door, we always discover that nothing fits. Little jobs turn into big jobs in a hurry, because we can never just replace the one item that is the cause of the problem. We have to replace everything around it.

Other challenges we met during the design session involved making decisions about which side to place the hinges on each cabinet. Fortunately, our designer had a lot of experience and could point out the pros and cons of each side. You have to think about keeping open cabinet doors out of your way when you are unloading the dishwasher or cooking on the stove.

We also discovered that we had to relocate our trash compactor in order to get a cabinet we wanted. The designer did help us solve a big problem we've had with our current kitchen design. We have two very deep blind cabinets on the bottom corners on each side of our sink. That means you open the cabinet, and you can see what's directly in front of you, but then the cabinet stretches way out off to the side into darkness, where you can't see anything that is back there. Plus you can't reach that far back to grab things without climbing into the cabinet and without the risk of being bitten by Black Widow spiders. I suspect we own some stuff that we don't even know about, because we've been too lazy or too afraid to dig that deep.

The designer said that we couldn't avoid those deep cabinets in the corners, but we could install a shelf the swings out in order to allow two trays to roll out from the blind part of the cabinet. That way there is no reaching into darkness. You just roll the contents out into the light. Very cool.

Another big project involves the ovens. We currently have an apartment-sized wall oven, a built-in microwave above it, and a stove top on the counter top. We need a normal sized oven, and if we consolidate the oven and stove top, placing a built-in microwave above them, we would have more room for cabinets and counter tops. By taking this approach, we were able to extend our counter space to be double what it is now.

We wanted to extend the kitchen without having to hire a contractor to knock out the wall, so we decided to add cabinets on each end of the current cabinets, which means encroaching on some space in our dining area. When you consider that we have food sitting on the floor next to our dining area, we really aren't taking any space away. We are just cleaning it up and putting the food behind closed doors. However, after much debate, we decided not to add cabinets on one side, because the current cabinets go right up to the end of the wall, and an extra cabinet would stick out at an odd angle with no wall between it and the hallway. Instead, we will probably get a temporary utility cart. On the other side, we are adding rounded cabinets, so that there are no sharp edges we can hit our heads and hips on when getting up from the dining table.

Of course, in the midst of this kitchen redesign, our refrigerator has gone on the fritz. Water is pooling in the bottom of it, and I have to soak it up with paper towels every day. We have an old top-of-the-line Magic Chef that has served us well for 20-some years. We love this refrigerator, with the exception of the fact that the ice maker takes up 1/3rd of the freezer space. Cramming stuff into the freezer after a marketing has been a weekly drama. So, anything new that we purchase will require more freezer space. We all have back problems, and/or knee problems, so we do not want to have to be bending over to dig frozen foods out of a drawer on the bottom. That leaves us with the choice of getting another smaller freezer on top or a side-by-side.

We looked at refrigerators and are thinking of getting an LG side-by-side model. We need to do more research, though, so hopefully our old Magic Chef will hold out until we make up our minds. Of course, having our refrigerator bite the dust subtracts another unexpected $1,000 from our kitchen remodel budget. We already know that we have to get a new stove and microwave set. That' going to be another $1,500. Our dishwasher hasn't been cleaning very well ever since the well pipes broke. It's probably dirt in the filter, but if we can't resolve it, that will be another $1,000 for a new dishwasher. The cost of the kitchen cabinets added up to be $8,200 plus tax. Labor is expected to be around $3,500 to install the kitchen cabinets. The designer wouldn't even give us a quote for the kitchen counter top we picked out, because we were already in a panic when we found out that the cost of the cabinets didn't include installation. Now my husband is talking about installing the cabinets himself.

Regarding counter tops, we've been told that granite is no longer considerably more expensive than the granite substitutes. They have comparable prices, so you may as well get the real thing. I'm not willing to consider a tile counter top as an option, since we managed to crack most of the tiles on our old counter top. We need something tough. We have wood counter tops in our bathrooms, and they have a black gunky build up in the cracks in the grain and water damage. I suppose we were supposed to be sealing the wood all these years, but maintenance is one of those things that we don't think about, none-the-less have time for. Once we get to the point of discussing counter tops, we'll have to consider the maintenance requirements carefully. I know some of them needed to be sealed regularly while others came with a coating that lasts forever.

Then, if we decide to follow through on new cabinets, counter tops and appliances, the next step will be to save up for new floors. I wonder how many years that will take? You almost have to take out a home loan just to be able to afford to fix up your current home. The reality is that this kitchen remodel is necessary in order to put our house in sellable condition, however if we spend all that money, we won't have much left over for a down payment on a new house. So, we've got some heavy thinking to do.

Kitchen Remodel: The Background

Since so many people responded with interest to my kitchen remodeling project, I thought I'd share my experiences. I know that many times I won't take on a big project if I've never done anything like it before, because there are too many unknowns. I worry that I will get in over my head. However, if I write about my experiences, that may help clear up some of the unknowns for others who may be thinking of remodeling a room or rooms in their home.

Our kitchen is very small. It's about the size of some walk-in closets you might find in nice homes. Personally, I've seen larger kitchens in studio apartments. We have two goals: One is to maximize our kitchen space and design it intelligently, and the other is to get our home into sellable condition.

Currently, our kitchen counter top is tile, and many of the tiles are cracked. We have a built-in wooden cutting board, which is getting moldy from years of moisture, so we always have to scrub it down with bleach, and there is a big black pot ring on it where the bottom of a hot pot burned the wood.

The cabinets were painted white when we moved in 16 years ago. However, over the years so many fingerprints and and grease marks piled up that I took a wet soapy sponge to them. However, I couldn't not wipe off those stains. I tried a bleach abrasive with a rough sponge and degreasers, but still couldn't put a dent in the gunk. I decided to repaint the cabinets instead. Unfortunately, I couldn't get any help at the time I was shopping for paint, so I just picked out an interior cabinet paint in off-white. The repainting project was done many years ago when I was between jobs. I put in full time hours on the project and it took several days to complete it, because I repainted the bathroom cabinets as well.

It wasn't until months later when the first few stains started showing up that I took a sponge to those, hoping I could have better luck scrubbing them off when they were fresh. Much to my horror, I scrubbed the layer of paint right off along with the stains. All that work down the drain in one scrub of a sponge. It turned out that the paint I picked out was enamel, so it peels right off like fingernail polish. Now we have places all over our kitchen where an old bright white paint shows through a newer off-while paint. It looks like our kitchen cabinets are shedding.


We also have tile floors, and many of the tiles are cracked and or loose. We've searched the garage for extra tiles to replace the broken ones, but there are none and no one sells that same style of tiles anymore.

Because there isn't enough cabinet space, we store food in boxes and cans on the floor next to our dining table. We also don't have enough counter space for more than one person to be working in the kitchen at the same time.

We basically have two small spots of counter space. Dirty dishes waiting to be loaded into the dishwasher usually occupy one of those spaces, and we leave the other space open for preparing food.

That's just the problems we have with the kitchen. I won't even mention the rest of the house, but that desperately needs work too. We've got one daughter in college, and our son will be entering college in another two years, so we have to be cautious about how we manage our money.

We began our attempt at a kitchen remodel by visiting The Home Depot. We looked at their displays and set up an appointment for a contractor to come out and take measurements and pictures of our kitchen. That same week our well pipe sprung a leak and we lost our water. We had to fork out an unexpected $2,000 to replace the pipes and well pump. That put a big crimp in our kitchen remodeling budget. However, we decided to go ahead and follow through with an appointment with a designer. Our local Home Depot has a special deal right now in which the initial consultations with a contractor and designer are free and there is no obligation.

The designer spent three hours with us, pouring over floor plans, catalogs, and showing us examples of different types of cabinets we can put in some of the tough spots.

In my next post, I will go into detail about how the design session progressed and regressed until we finally came up with an agreeable solution. Stay tuned.

A Funny Story

The other day my 16-year-old son and I were talking, and he told me that there was a dunk tank at one of his friend's birthday parties. They wanted him to be the dunk tank victim, but he didn't bring a swimsuit. Being the character that he is, my son volunteered to wear his friend's mother's bikini. He said the bottoms fit a bit odd for his male physique, so he wore his boxers underneath.

My son jokes around about a lot of things, so I never really know when to believe his stories. Sometimes they are made up in an effort to get me to laugh, other times they really did happen. I wasn't sure about this one. Although, he did break into the costume room of the drama department at school one year and dressed up like a woman along with another guy. When they strutted out into the hallway, there was a bunch of girls with their cell phone cameras poised, shooting off snapshots, just like the paparazzi.

Then last weekend when my son and I took our horses to the Fairgrounds, we got out of our truck and he spotted a girl he knew. He waved to her, and the woman sitting next to the girl said, "Hey! It's Bikini Boy!"

I burst out laughing and said, "You mean that story is true? He really wore a bikini at a birthday party?"

As I was talking to her, my son was trying to pull me away to prevent this conversation from taking place.

She nodded and said, "Yes, and we took pictures and put them all over Facebook!"

I laughed even harder. "Really?" I asked.

"No, I'm just kidding about that. We only took pictures," she said.

I was excited to find that my son was friends with a rodeo family. They practiced on the barrels and worked out the kinks while I took a few pictures. When we got home he showed me the picture of him in the bikini as proof, but he won't give me permission to post it on my blog, because he's afraid it will come back to haunt him like some of the Miss America nudie shots. He did let me tell the story, though, so you can laugh too.

Super Clean Saturday

That's one clean butt...

That's one clean tail...

That's one clean mane...

I tried a different horse shampoo on Bombay's tail. I had been using Quic Silver, but his tail was still yellow after a thorough shampoo. This time I tried Cowboy Magic's Shine In Yellow Out. You can see that the yellow is still there on the bottom half of his tail...

I think the only difference between the two products is that one is purple and the other is blue. They both have just about the same effectiveness. I have also used Oxy Clean and Palmolive. No horse shampoo product or home remedy seems to get the yellow out any better than the next.

Gabbrielle got so upset about me bathing Lostine and Bombay before her that she very intentionally backed up to the water trough and peed in it. Talk about throwing a temper tantrum and fouling your own nest.

But she eventually got her turn. That is one drenched rat...

While I was busy bathing Gabbrielle, Bombay decided to help himself to some hay on the haystack...

Who me? I'm innocent...

...and clean too.

More Photos of Lunging Two Horses

The Magical Tree and the Water Truck

Thursday morning I awoke to the sunshine, meaning I got a good night's sleep and I overslept. I jumped out of bed and started getting ready for work, then a little voice in my head reminded me it was Thursday and no one had told me I had to work. I could actually have the day off! Too bad I hadn't realized that the night before, because I could have called my equitation instructor and set up a lesson.

Oh well. I still loaded up the horses and headed for the Fairgrounds. Gabbrielle self loads now. I don't even have to get in the trailer with her. I can point her at it and she steps right in. Bombay is a safe loader, but he still requires some mild pressure from behind before he'll stop resisting that first step up. He's always got to do a little jig and leave a pile of manure on the ground before he'll get in.

I was disappointed once we got to the Fairgrounds and Gabbrielle refused to get out of the trailer. It was a hot day in the mid 90's and Bombay was trapped in there as long as Gabbrielle refused to get out. That's one of the downsides of a slant load trailer. Normally, she just turns herself around and hops out. We tried to entice her out with treats, but she wouldn't budge. So, I climbed in there with her and tried guiding her out backwards. She kept losing her footing, panicking, and then jumping forward, squishing me against the wall of the trailer. It was getting too dangerous for me to be in there with her, so I threaded a long line from her halter out the back of the trailer and started smacking her side with it to get her to move. Since she couldn't move further into the trailer, she had to figure out that the only way to move was out.

I felt bad about smacking her with the rope, but at this point I was more concerned about Bombay sweltering in a standing trailer with no air flow like they get when we are moving. When she got her head around enough that she committed herself to coming out head first, I put a lot of pressure on and she jumped. All was good after that. I free lunged both of them in an arena for a while.

I love this next picture because it shows me making a move toward turning them in the opposite direction.

Thanks goes to my son for helping load and unload the horses, as well as taking all the pictures. This is his last week of summer vacation, and I know he doesn't want to spend it watching his mother ride. We've been encouraging him to ride with me to make it more interesting, but he'd rather sit in the truck and read a book.


Despite all the running around, Gabbrielle's scar didn't bleed again. The scar itself cracked, but since it didn't bleed that means she's getting some new skin underneath.

Once the horses were sufficiently exercised, I put Gabbrielle into the one pen that had a little shade from a tree.

I'm beginning to believe that there is something special or magical about this tree. I can ride in this arena in a totally still heat, but every time we pass by this tree, a nice breeze picks up and the leaves rustle at us. I feel like the tree is speaking to us.

By the time I started riding, I was fatigued. I spent all my energy on trailering and lunging. Getting Gabbrielle to her pen was no easy feat either, as she was very wary of a picnic bench and trash can. I had to regress to her halter training days to get her past them. I stood in front of her and posed her, keeping her attention on me, then I invited her to take one step forward at a time until we got past the objects.

I had stupidly left the gate to the arena open, because Bombay was tied to a post. However, by the time I got Gabbrielle past the picnic table and trash can, Bombay had untied himself and was headed toward the open gate. I yelled out to my son to grab him, but he was inside the truck with the windows rolled up and the radio blasting. I essentially threw Gabbrielle into her pen and ran for the gate before Bombay reached it.

We mostly walked, jogged, and trotted, but every muscle in my body ached. I was somewhat relieved that I hadn't set up and equitation lesson, because my instructor would have worked me a lot harder than I was working myself. I can see by these pictures that he would have told me to roll up further onto the insides of my thighs in order to get my legs further underneath me and to point my toes forward instead of out. At least my arm position is better. Usually, my arms appear straight in pictures, when they should have a bend at the elbow.

Just when I mustered up enough energy to work on cantering off the correct lead, Bombay's nemesis fired up its engine and started rolling its way toward him. It was the infamous water truck, spraying and ocean wave over the fence into the arena next to us.

I turned Bombay away from it, because I didn't think the engine sound would bother him. He's started to get used to the sound of approaching engines. However, I know from past experience that once he sees that water spraying out the side of it, he makes himself as tall as possible and goes on alert, trying to figure out whether to wait it out or run away.

I didn't think I had the strength to hang on to a runaway horse, so I dismounted before he spotted the water. Right at that same second, he spotted it and pumped himself up so big that I could barely reach the saddle horn to wrap the reins around.

Gabbrielle went on alert too, but fortunately they both chose to just stand tall and watch. The truck driver went by really slowly, and once past us, gassed it to get as far away from us as possible. This picture is a close up of the water tank up on the hill above the Fairgrounds...

Both Bombay and Gabbrielle self-loaded for the ride home. Of course once we were home, Gabbrielle had no problem getting right out of the trailer on her own with no prompting. I suspect she was hesitant to get out at the Fairgrounds, because she didn't know where she was. I think she had a good enough time, though, that she'll be more confident next time.

I am so glad that I remembered to take this day off and spend some time with the horses, because more thunderstorms are expected to roll in this weekend, and roll out just in time for another workweek. Isn't that backwards from the way it should be?