Saturday, September 18, 2010

So You Want To Own A Horse?

So you want to own a horse? I own three. Here's a day in the life of a horse owner:

-Woken at the crack of dawn on a Saturday by horses kicking their stalls because they were hungry for breakfast.

-Let the horses out of their stalls and fed them.

-Upon opening one horse's stall, (people familiar with my horses can probably guess which one), I found a $120 horse blanket ripped from where it had been hanging on the wall, stomped on, and shredded. Spent two hours hand-sewing the horse blanket back together. (Hint: Don't encourage your horse to play with and shred old tarps, because he will carry that behavior over to the things you don't want him to destroy.)

-Noticed a horse rubbing its rear on the chicken wire and went in the house to look up when the last time was that the horses were wormed.

-The boys knocked down 60-pound bales of hay from a new block that was as tall as our house, covered the stack with a new $160 tarp that must be replaced every year, and anchored it down in the wind.

-I quickly (translation: spent only 40 minutes) cleaned all the manure in the paddock and horse stalls before a mason came by to measure the fence line in order to replace it with a wall. The horses swarmed him, so I had to shoo them into a separate pen so that the man could get his work done.

-While the mason did his thing, I painted some stinky stuff that is supposed to halt cribbing all over the barn and wood fence in order to avoid having to replace the wood planks.

-Spent the entire day moving the hose around in the pasture in an attempt to soak the soil so that it won't be so compacted, and hopefully the grass can grow again.

-Fed the horses lunch, went to the bank to cash a couple of birthday checks and then went to the feed store to buy polo wraps for my horses. (As a rule, horse people spend every penny of gift money on their horses.)

-Haltered each horse, applied splint boots, and lunged in the round pen at various speeds. (This is the equivalent of walking a dog so that it will expend its energy in a healthy manner rather than destroying everything in your house out of boredom.)

-Practiced ground work with each horse to encourage softness and responsiveness, so that cues from the saddle won't result in a fight with a thousand-pound animal.

-Massaged a horse with a sore shoulder. Right when I was performing physical therapy by gently pulling her front leg out in front of her for a stretch, some man driving a truck way too fast came barreling up my private drive, spooked the horse, the horse reared, and I had to bail out from underneath her hooves.

-Gave the horses their grain and medications.

-Put the horses in their stalls, fed them their dinner, and the day came to an end without me having had the time to ride.

-Oh yeah, and I got farted on and had a tail slap me in the face multiple times while picking out hooves.


Dream Valley Ranch said...

Oh my goodness this post made me laugh out loud! What a day! And I so understand...having a herd of 8 of my own and unexpectedly bringing in a boarder for a total of 9 horses I spent 10.5 hours today just doing barn chores: mucking, moving hay, dumping/cleaning/filling waterers, de-worming the herd, grooming dogs and horses, working on trailer loading, hiking dogs. A perfect day for me but I think most people wouldn't think so :)

I think my favorite was that you got farted on...silly ponies!

Sounds like a heavenly day!

Fantastyk Voyager said...

Whew, what a day! Have a good night's sleep because it all begins again tomorrow. ;)

fernvalley01 said...

Yup the glamour overwhelms me some days too! I spent the day cleaning the barn alley , with my friend Deb, 1 year of accumulated ICK , and mouse poop! Not fun

Paint Girl said...

Ah yes, the being farted on and hit in the face by a tail. I have that happen at least 15 times a day. It's the highlight of my day...kiddin', but man, those tails hurt! And all our horses tails are kept braided, rolled up and wrapped in Guardtex so when I get hit, it's like a baseball coming at you full speed. It.Hurts!

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

These comments are hilarious! It's a wonder you don't have more black eyes and concussions, Paint Girl.

Cheryl Ann said...

LOL~~~Yep. I can relate to this, too! Good post.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Rearing??? gah!

I'd much rather be farted on.

For me, I count myself lucky around here when a day ends and I'm not injured and am still alive....

Remind me again why we put up with this stuff this every day?


Reddunappy said...

Horses....Gotta love 'em! :0)

Maery Rose said...

Yes, I think this is why non-horse people question our sanity. "You say horses are fun?"

Crystal said...

LOL pretty accurate description of a horse filled day!

Leah Fry said...

Oh, you make it sound so romantic! Yup, that pretty much says it!

If you're not deterred by all that, then by all means, go out and buy your first horse or two or three LOL!

Jeni said...

You forgot the Mare in Season "spray".

Horse ownership has it's perks though! There is nothing like a nuzzle and whicker after along frustrating day!

Rising Rainbow said...

Yup! Sounds just like a normal day with horses to me. That's why we love them, isn't it.

Oh and I totally agree about the tarp thing. What were you thinking? You'll be paying for that the rest of your life. LOL

Breathe said...

Whew. I'm worn out just driving over to see mine. Your schedule really makes me tired!

Yet, I still want to have them at home. Crazy.

allhorsestuff said...

MAN...tell me about it..I don't even LIVE with mine...and apprears... that I have a self care facility, 26 miles seems!!!
Don't we love it, though. ONE good ride...ONE nice trip....ONE sweet horse nicker and kiss!!!