Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Chaos Theory Hits Home

I knew Tuesday would be a wild day, because I had so many calls to follow up on from Friday.  Then Monday night my farrier phoned and said he wanted to trim the horses' hooves Tuesday morning.  I agreed, thinking I could squeeze it in, but my gut instinct kept telling me to call him back and switch to a different day.  But you know me...  I like to get everything done A.S.A.P. with the belief that sometime in the future my schedule will clear and I'll be able to do something fun.

Tuesday morning the wind for our next storm arrived early.  The gusts were pretty intense, rattling the aluminum roof and snapping the hay tarp around.  Little whirlwinds were swirling the dirt around my horses' legs and under their bellies as the farrier was working on them.  I stroked their faces to keep them calm.

Instinct told me to trim Gabbrielle first since she's usually the most difficult, being the youngest.  Usually, when a storm is moving in, the wind gusts get stronger and more violent as time progresses.  Just a few seconds into her trim, Gabbrielle raised her head up high and stared past me over my shoulder.  I turned to find my neighbor standing in the goat pen just a few feet behind me.  She normally feeds the goats at 8:30 AM, and this was an hour later.  She probably saw me opening my gate and moving my truck out of the way and knew I was having company, so she postponed feeding time until my company arrived, giving her the perfect cover for getting in close to eavesdrop.

She dawdled in that goat pen, dragging feed troughs around, picking up and dropping things, basically making as many sudden, loud noises as possible for a good 20 minutes, and I wanted to spin around and ask her how long it takes to feed some goats.  There were some things I wanted to talk with my farrier about, but only when my neighbor was out of earshot.  She suddenly started yelling at the goats, because they were eating the rabbits' feed.  She put so much energy into chasing them around and yelling at them that I wondered why she didn't just separate the goats and rabbits into different pens.

Gabbrielle was all excited, neck and tail arched, while she watched the commotion in the goat pen.  My farrier was getting nervous, because he could feel my horse's tenseness.  You never want to be under the belly of a thousand-pound animal when it is excited.  He quickly finished with Gabbrielle and told me to bring Bombay out for his trim.

Bombay was fairly relaxed, ignoring the wind and the woman running around screaming in the goat pen as best as he could.  By the time my farrier started on Bombay's back feet, Bombay went on full alert, head so high he could have konked it on the overhang.  I looked off in the direction he was looking and saw the my neighbor cut her horses loose.  I said, "Oh no!  My neighbor let her horses out, so now my horses are going to get all riled up."

My farrier stood up to look around and said, "She always seems to be doing something disruptive to spook and distract your horses, doesn't she?"

I said, "Yes, she is the stupidest woman in the world."  I turned around and saw her standing right behind me pretending to water some weeds.  I didn't even care that she heard that.  Anybody who eavesdrops as much as she does deserves whatever her ears can take in.

My farrier and I had been talking about the EHV-1 virus and I told him that I hate it when she lets her horses loose to co-mingle with mine over the fence.  The people who own the horses are still trailering and riding them out off the property.  I said I would have to relocate my horses into stalls and pens where my neighbor's horses can't touch them over the fence.  He said we do have one confirmed local case of the virus, so I should keep my horses in quarantine.

Bombay got so excited about the horses next door being out that he forgot he was having his pedicure and he started to run right past me to greet the horses at the fence.  I corrected him, backed him up and made him stand for the farrier, who now felt rushed because the woman next door was running around with a tree branch chasing the horses away from the goat and rabbit feed.  Apparently, she didn't know they got out, so she had to close the front gate before the horses escaped down the road.

Her horses were galloping in circles around her house and my horses were galloping in circles wherever they could.  When it was time to switch out Bombay with Lostine, Gabbrielle made a run for it and busted through the gate in order to run up to the fence to rub noses with the horses next door.  I tried herding her back into the round pen, but she wasn't cooperating.  I didn't want to take up too much of my farrier's time, so I held Lostine for him to trim and kept and eye on Gabbrielle to make sure she didn't get too close to the other horses.

Each time I thought my neighbor had put the horses in the back paddock, they'd come galloping around again with her chasing them and yelling.  She had been trying to plant a garden and the horses kept stampeding through her garden and trying to snatch up whatever was growing, which made my neighbor scream even louder and start whacking horses on their rumps with her tree branch.  Then Gabbrielle and Bombay responded by galloping around in excitement again.  Lostine was the only horse that was well behaved, so my instinct was correct to do the difficult horses first.  I should have known that I could count on my neighbor to screw up my farrier appointment in addition to the high winds. 

No sooner did my farrier leave and the neighbor who fixes dragster engines started up.  I videotaped how loud it was inside the house as well as outside the house, and while I was filming, another neighbor drove into my driveway to ask me who was making that horrific noise.  We couldn't even hear each other talking.  I had to put my ear close to her mouth and vice versa.  I film these types of incidents to show to the county and perhaps the police if the noise pollution gets to be a habit.  The county can take away the neighbors' business license if the noise from his business extends beyond his property line, and in this case it extends for miles beyond his property line.  He always shuts down before the police can respond to a complaint, though, which is why it's important to get it on tape.


Mikey said...

Good for you, videotaping them. I hope you keep a running log of all this stuff they do. Dragster engines? Seriously?
And does your neighbor ever have a farrier out for her horses? Is she completely clueless? I can't believe she's chasing horses and goats all over the place like that. That's just ridiculous.

Mrs Mom said...


Your farrier needs to Rasp Enema that crazy biotch next door. Seriously.

Course with MY mood these days, maybe *I* should make a road trip and do it myself for torturing a friend AND a fellow Hoof Care Provider!!!

lololol-- WV-- PHANI. Yep. That is EXACTLY where the Rasp Enema is inserted. The PHANI.

fernvalley01 said...

Sounds like a regular Sh*t show! that just sucks!

Anonymous said...

That woman has some serious problems!

LOL at Mrs Mom's suggestion. I can just see her chasing your neighbor's PHANI with rasp in hand!

Once Upon an Equine said...

That is one crazy zoo you have next door. I could visualize your neighbor running around wildly with a tree branch as I read. I'm surprised she didn't get kicked by the horses, butted by the goats, and, umm..??..thumped by the rabbits.

Fantastyk Voyager said...

That must just wear you out to always have your neighbors hanging around doing such stupid stuff all the time. Did your farrier have any suggestions for retaliation?

Maia said...

Is there any way you can move? Life is just too short to have to constantly endure this kind of abuse and nonsence, which I don't think is going to stop anytime soon. Hang in there, I know it must be rough.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

See. I don't get it. I chase a horse with a feather and get kicked in the face, and your crazy, stupid neighbor chases and screams at horses with a branch and remains unscathed. Seems a little unfair to me. bleh!

NM, You NEED to move. I know you've got a million excuses and issues seemingly preventing you from taking that big step, and they all must seem impossible to surmount, but the benefits of you moving your family and your animals far outweigh the risk.

Of course, you must only do what's right for you, but if you do some soul searching (and read over the past couple years of your blog post. hah!) you'll quickly come to the realization that packing up and moving far away from that house, your bizarre, insensitive neighbors and dramatically changing neighborhood will be one of the best things you ever did.

Do it.


BrownEyed Cowgirls said...

Good for you for videotaping the noise pollution. A Dragster? Seriously?

Just for kicks, I'd start carrying the video camera and videotaping the snoopy neighbor too. People have a tendency to disappear real quick when they know they are being videotaped.

achieve1dream said...

What a loser! Does talking to her not work? Can you not tell her that if she or her horses cause an injury that she would be held liable? If she's that stupid maybe she would believe you!!