Saturday, July 16, 2011

Bubble Wrap, Please

The last 48 hours have been beyond ridiculous.  Here are the highlights:

1.  Friday morning I was woken by my husband calling for help.  He had a cut that wouldn't stop bleeding and he wanted me to get the blood out of the carpet before it dried and stained. 

2.  Saturday night I was determined to get a full night's sleep, but was woken at 3:00 AM by the dogs barking.  They usually bark at that hour either because one of them desperately has to go to the bathroom or because someone (usually a nosy neighbor) is trespassing on our property.  I opened the back door a crack and sniffed the air to make sure there weren't any skunks about.  The air was crisp and clean.  I let the dogs out and ten seconds later Scrappy was fighting for his life after a baby skunk sprayed him straight in the face, clogging up his mouth, nostrils and eyes with skunk oil.  We had to race him to the bathtub and wash his face so that he could breathe again.  You know the rest.  I got to spend the remainder of the morning bathing dogs, washing towels and clothes, burning vanilla candles...

3.  I tried to do the marketing obscenely early in the morning to avoid people, but half the population was on the road and in the supermarket despite my efforts.  Each time I walked past someone, they whipped around and stared at me, because I obviously still had skunk stench stuck to me despite taking a shower.  But what was really funny was that two old ladies followed me to my car, pushing their cart behind me.  I stopped and opened my trunk to load my groceries, and they stopped at the back of my car as if they were about to start loading theirs too.  I looked at them and they looked confused and disoriented, as if coming out of a skunk stench stupor and suddenly realizing that my car was not their car.  They found their car in another isle and it was a big white suburban -- nothing like my little putt-putt.

4.  I tried to pay my mother's bills before racking up late fees, but before I could finish, the mail carrier came and went, and my son said that he wasn't going to get his student loans because we never completed filling out all the forms.  I was running back and forth between paying my mother's bills and filling in my son's online forms, but we couldn't get the paperwork printed because my printer wasn't being detected.  While troubleshooting that problem, I lost my monitor.  Before I knew it, my entire computer system broke down twice.  My husband was asleep on the couch and I had to wake him up to fix it.  It literally took the majority of the day to troubleshoot all these problems and print out the forms, only to have us find out that there were still more forms we had to fill out.  Hopefully, we will meet the deadline by the skin of our teeth, because otherwise we don't have the money to send my son to college.

5.  While trying to resolve all these problems that were being thrown my way literally every few minutes, inanimate objects started flying at me.  I'm not kidding.  I couldn't even spit out the words for what I needed when asking for help, because things like art easels were randomly falling on top of me.  By the end of that problem-solving session, there was junk all over the floor because I was too busy to be able to even pick up the poltergeist's mess. 

6.  I broke every fingernail on each hand, some more than once over the past 48 hours.  It seemed every time I simply touched something, I'd hear a snap and see a nail go flying.  I was contemplating putting my manicure kit on a chain around my neck to save time.

My goal for the day was actually to take some sleeping pills and try to make up for all the sleep I have missed in the past 48 hours, but I guess I'll have to postpone that plan for a while.  I haven't cleaned manure out of the stalls or paddock since Tuesday night because of my insane schedule.  I'd like to do it right now, but the annoying neighbors have five vehicles in the driveway at the moment and there are strangers just wandering around aimlessly next to my horse paddock.  I've been stared at enough for one day, thank you.

My husband told me that while I was away, he stepped into the garage to get something and heard the ruckus of tires spinning on dirt.  He looked up to see our nosy neighbors racing out of our driveway.  He had no idea what they were doing on our property again, but he suspected they were looking at some tools he had just bought and set on the garage floor.  I know there have been instances in the past in which I heard noises in our garage when I left the garage door open, only to find items knocked off shelves or moved around.  These people are so strange.  They act like our stuff is their stuff.  Not only do we rarely speak to them, but we never lend them our stuff, so I have no idea why they keep doing these strange things.

The other day I was starving, but I didn't have time to do a marketing, so while running errands I stopped at Subway for a sandwich.  As I was walking out of the store I saw my neighbor's truck driving right toward me.  I jumped out of my skin, because it really creeps me out when I see them following me around town.  I looked at the truck a little closer and convinced myself it wasn't them.  As I was climbing into my car, the truck turned and I saw that it was my neighbor woman driving.  She stuck her middle finger out the window at me and drove off.  I was floored!  This is the mother of our local Baptist minister, and she gave me the finger!  Worse yet, she followed me into town to do it.  She didn't even stop at any of the stores in the shopping center where I was at.  She just did a drive by.  How sick is that?

On second thought, since I stink like a skunk, I may as well go outside and treat their guests to the aroma while I shovel manure.  I'm sure it won't deter the staring, but perhaps it will make them lose their appetites. 


Mikey said...

Good heavens, that last part is weird. A Baptist woman gave you the finger? Lol, you live in a weird place, that's all I can say.
Sorry bout the skunk, lol. I'm so glad we don't have those. My dogs would be outside forever if they did that on any kind of a regular basis.
Don't ya hate that all this stuff happens all at once? You really do need an assistant!
I also do my marketing at odd hours. I took Mercy with me, since she was WIDE AWAKE at 10 pm. At 10:30 in the store, people were giving me looks and Mercy was yawning. I didn't care though.
Try to lock the doors and take the sleeping pills. I did that last night, it was the best sleep I'd had in MONTHS. I ought to remember I have those pills, lol. But it sure was nice to sleep good. I'm praying you get some good sleep too. It really makes all the difference.

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

OMG! I just went outside to shovel manure and found the gate to the paddock unlocked and there was a sandwich laying on the ground of my RV lane. The chain wasn't wrapped around the pole. I questioned both my son and husband if they had been in the horse paddock today and neither of them were. I know I wasn't in there, because I've been so busy that I was late in throwing them their hay for breakfast and lunch. The gate wasn't unlocked this morning, which means that some time today the neighbors or their guests let themselves into my horse paddock. Sigh.

It's time to start making sure the RV lane gate is padlocked every minute of every day and night. I'd swear that one of the reasons why these people stare so hard at our house when they drive by is to see if we forgot to lock our RV gate or close our garage. Unfortunately, I had to air out the garage after the skunk incident, so I'm sure they had a grand old time in there too.

Grey Horse Matters said...

Oh my, you sure do have strange days. Get some sleep.

achieve1dream said...

This just totally pisses me off. I so want to do something really rude and ugly to your neighbors. That is absolutely ridiculous. You should file for a restraining order . . .

I hope nothing is missing, misplaced, stolen or broken. I'd seriously be plotting some revenge lol.

Is your husband okay? I hate those kinds of cuts that won't stop bleeding. Does him catching your neighbors on your property make him feel any different about them or is he still willing to just ignore it?

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you make the deadline for your son's student loans. And that things improve for you. I'm beginning to wonder if the stupid neighbors have really bad luck that's hanging over your house like a cloud. I hope someday you can move away and find some peace and quiet (or they would move away).

Once Upon an Equine said...

Very strange. It's like you've fallen into the Twilight Zone. When I get very tired, I tend to get more bumps, bruises, cuts, and things just go wrong all around. It's hard enough to deal with the normal stuff, let alone all the abnormal things going on around you - like the odd neighbors and skunks and finger wielding church lady. I hope you can get some sleep soon.

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

achieve1dream - Yes, my husband is okay. It just took a long time and a lot of pressure to get the bleeding to stop. He's still trying to ignore the neighbors' antics, but at least he believes me now and doesn't think all this is in my head.

I was contemplating that perhaps something I brought home from my mother's house had bad luck attached to it, but I've been having bad luck for a long time before this. It just seems to have gotten worse recently. The neighbors have been having a lot of company, many of whom stay overnight or live with them for a few days or weeks and these guests seem very interested in me, which makes me think that the neighbors tell them stories about me. Since their only friends appear to be members of their church, perhaps they could be doing voodoo against me. I know Baptists have nothing to do with voodoo, but this isn't a traditional Baptist church. I've looked at the website for the church and can see that the family is not only uneducated, but completely nuts.

strivingforsavvy said...

OMG! Too much for anyone to handle. Try to keep your sense of humor and things are bound to get better.

Cheryl Ann said...

Your neighbors are more weird (weirder?) than mine!!! My neighbors, while we were vacationing in the Sierra, had their worker ENTER OUR BACK YARD and nail up a board to the top of their fence (they like to skinny dip...yawn...). The guy left his gloves in our yard, along with the leftover wood for the fence board! I mean, COME ON! They TRESPASSED in our yard, without notice, or our permission! What if one of our dogs had bitten the guy? (...shaking head...) ...IDIOTS!!!!

achieve1dream said...

LOL about the insects in the video. I don't notice them in person. I didn't even notice them when playing back the video until my husband said something hehe. It's actually a really comforting sound at times when I have the windows open at night. :) It's all what you grow up with.

Yup, I think Hulk will become a nickname with Faran lol. It does suit him. Chrome's is the Chrominator like the Terminator lol.

I think Chrome was actually kind of bored with the saddling process except when I first put it on. He just wanted to do his tricks. He hates just standing still lol. Thanks for watching the video.

Ms Martyr said...

Peroxide works great at removing blood from carpet.

There is a show on HGTV called Cash and Cari. She is an estate sale specialist. Don't know if it would give you any good ideas or not. You probably don't have time to watch television anyway...