Monday, July 4, 2011


Last night I walked into the kitchen to fill up a glass of water at the sink.  The kitchen lights were on and the blinds were still open.  There was a little bit of light left outside after the sun had set.  I caught some movement outside and looked up just in time to see my nosy neighbor running behind the thickest part of my trees.  She stopped and tried peering through the branches into my house.  I glared back at her and pulled the blinds shut in her face, and then turned around to find my husband standing behind me in his underwear, so she apparently got an eyeful.  I said, "We've got an audience.  The neighbor is trying to get a good look inside our window again."

My husband just laughed.  None of this bothers him.  Then I found out that my husband and son know who has been smoking on our property and leaving cigarette butts and packages behind.  It's a guy who lives in a house across the highway.  His wife and kid are the ones who trespass on my property to pet my horses.  I guess trespassing is a family affair with them.  My husband and son just say hello to the guy as he stands next to our pasture and smokes.  We have a lot of dry, flammable brush out there.  I don't know why they don't inform him that he's trespassing and littering on our property.

Yes I do.  It's because they don't have to clean up his mess.  I'm the one who always has to suffer that consequence.  He also leaves beer bottles and cans behind.  Why can't he smoke and drink and litter on his own property instead of walking across the highway to mine?

I saw a news report about a man who kept finding tea bottles in his yard most days.  Some of them broke on his driveway, and he'd have to get out there right away and sweep up the glass before a tire got punctured.  He collected 2 years worth of tea bottles until he finally got fed up and set up a surveillance camera in his yard.  He caught the culprit on camera throwing the tea bottle out the window of her car on four occasions and took it to the police.  It turned out to be a woman who lived 2 miles up the road from him and her story was that she didn't mean anything personal by it.  She just happened to be driving by this man's house when she finished her tea.  The police charged her with 4 counts of littering, because that's all they had on film, even though she had been doing it every day for years.

Who does that?  What is the mentality of throwing your garbage out the car window?  If you can afford a car, you can afford a trash can, right?  And this lady was driving a pretty nice car.  Don't people know that bottles can create a magnification effect in extreme heat and start fires?  I'll bet that lady expects someone else to wipe her hiney when she's done doing her business, because throwing trash out your car window and polluting the environment is as bad as taking a dump and running off, letting others see, smell, step in it and clean it up.  I think we need to crack down on litterbugs and make them live in their own fouled nests, preferably a tiny cell with no trash pick up and just a bucket for a toilet, and only let them out in order to pick up garbage that other litterbugs tossed out along the highways.

One of my neighbors took in a new horse boarder and this lady has proven to be an incredibly intrusive person.  She has a golf cart and likes to race it up and down my dirt road just for fun.  I've also seen her racing it around in my driveway.  She rides her horse on my property without permission.  My neighbor told me that the woman walks right into her house without knocking.  She said one time she was taking a nap and woke to find the boarder standing over her bed staring at her.  How creepy is that?

So, my neighbor had to draw some boundaries with her.  Because I used to board a horse with this neighbor, I know she is very gracious and makes people feel welcome, but I also know that she likes her privacy and appreciates a little notice if I plan to ride on her property.  If I have to speak with her, I call her mobile phone or knock on her door and tell her who I am while I'm knocking.  She is of a generation that makes great hosts and hostesses, but much of it is an act.  If she says, "You are welcome here anytime," what she means is "You are welcome to ask if you can come over any time, and I will see if it is convenient for me.  I appreciate it if you ask for permission to use my riding facilities."

I've seen this happen time and again to her.  She lets a stranger board a horse or take a job as a ranch hand, and next thing she knows they are living in her house, helping themselves to her personal stuff.  I'll never forget years ago when she hired a woman to take care of her property when she was away.  I had arranged ahead of time to visit my horse at her ranch while she was gone.  As I walked past the back of her house, I heard someone singing and turned my head to see this woman standing in my friend's bedroom going through her dresser drawers and holding up my friend's underwear!  I came to a screeching halt and waited for her to notice me.  She got embarrassed and put the underwear away.  When my neighbor returned I warned her that she may not want to hire that woman again because she was going through her stuff.  I didn't get into specifics, because it was just too weird and I didn't want her to feel violated.  She did end up firing her for some other reason.

I had entertained the possibility that the lady was just doing my friend's laundry, but it didn't make sense that she was pulling the underwear out of her drawer and holding it up to examine it.  I'd expect her to be pulling the underwear out of a laundry basket, perhaps folding it, and putting it away in the drawer.

Then tonight I was sitting on the garage floor painting signs when I kept hearing a noise in my driveway.  It sounded like someone was digging through my trashcan, but each time I looked over at it, no one and nothing was there.  This noise was originating just 20 to 30 feet away from me.  My husband's car and my truck were blocking my view of whatever was making that noise.  It got quiet and I fell back into my meditative state while painting, figuring the horses were making those noises in the paddock.

Someone slammed a car door right next to me and I jumped out of my skin.  I looked around, but no one was at my husband's car or my truck.  I figured some neighbor was having a 4th of July barbeque and people were parking in the street.  There were several more car door slams over a period of about five minutes.  The noise level of the door slamming seemed so excessive, so I jumped up to see what the heck was going on, only to find my nosy neighbors driving away from my driveway.

I have no idea what they were doing on my property again, but I wish I had jumped up when I first started hearing those weird noises and busted them.  I've been chomping at the bit to catch them in the act of some of their more offensive actions and chew them out royally.  Bombay was standing at the fence closest to the area where they drove off from and I wondered if they were feeding him.  Then I remembered that my son left his pole vault pole attached to the side of my truck.  They probably stopped to investigate what it was.  Whenever we leave something new outside on our lawn or driveway or walkway, these nosy neighbors can never resist stopping to see what it is.

I think I'll go fling some poop in their yard since they are gone now.  If they complain, I'll blame it on the goats.  You wouldn't believe how many goat pellets are in my horse paddock now.  It's disgusting.  The goats press their butts against the chain-link and just shoot 'em out like bullets from a machine gun.


Grey Horse Matters said...

I really don't know how you stand it. If I was your husband I would have mooned them out the window so they really got an eyeful. Maybe you should paint some no trespassing signs and place them all over your property!

Mikey said...

Your neighbors are by far the weirdest ever. Always sneaking around. Sounds like the one guy is escaping his family to be by himself for a minute. I wouldn't like the smoking though, not with the fire hazards.
Very, very strange neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

Well shootski, it would have been great to catch them red-handed. Speaking from experience, you should check to see that all your car's paperwork (insurance etc) is still where you put it. My neighbor swiped my insurance card.

Breathe said...

I really don't get how the rest of your family isn't bothered by this. These behaviors are really very twisted.

I still thing hot wire is your only hope. I got shocked today, and I'll tell you it's darn discouraging for people.

Fantastyk Voyager said...

Lol, at your very last statement about the goats shooting sh@t like a machine gun!

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

I'm still laughing about your last sentence. lol!


achieve1dream said...

If I were you I'd make their life a living hell in any way I could think of. That's ridiculous! What losers!! You should carry a video camera and next time you hear something or see something tape it. Maybe you can get them in trouble like the guy with the tea bottles. I sure hope something works out for you soon.