Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Beyond These Walls

My neighbor to my immediate north is still polluting the air with her construction noises.  The front loader is still pushing boulders around and men are cutting things all day long with power saws.  The neighbor to my south has been revving dragster engines again too, so I just let my dogs out to bark all day long and wait for someone to dare complain. 

My nosy neighbors to my east arrived home from church on Sunday with a young couple driving a little pickup truck behind them.  Apparently, this young couple has moved in with the older couple, and they do the exact same annoying things that my nosy neighbors do.  Each time I walk outside to shovel manure and fill water troughs, the young couple comes out of the house and starts pretending to load and unload stuff from their truck, the whole while looking into my yard and watching me.  Maybe there is an evil spirit in that house that possesses everyone who enters and uses them to torture me.  I mean, this nosiness thing seems to be contagious over there.  Either that or I'm the most fascinating, most mesmerizing woman on earth.

The old woman has been driving me crazy by always walking to the mailboxes at the exact same time as me.  I'm not exaggerating.  Literally, every time I walk out of my house to get my mail, I jump out of my skin to find that woman hot-footing it down my road straight toward me.  I'm so sick of her constant presence that I immediately turn around and go back inside my house.  I don't want to give her the pleasure of seeing what I got in my mailbox.  When I go back inside, she suddenly slows way down and barely puts one foot in front of the other, as if stalling and waiting for me to come back out.  I watch her through the window, waiting for her to leave, so I can get my mail, and she actually pauses behind the trunks of each of my trees as if waiting to ambush me. 

Her routine reminds me of an old Charlie Brown movie in which Charlie is tip-toeing between trees while stalking Lucy or some other female character.  I remember the scene, because my brother blurted out, "He's going to rape her!"

My mother's reaction was interesting enough that I had to ask what "rape" was -- something I thoroughly regret learning about while watching a Charlie Brown movie.  So much for sex education.  I honestly don't know how this weird neighbor can choose the exact same minute as me to pick up her mail.  She must have a spy camera in my house or something.  This whole stalking thing is beyond bizarre.

The shades in both my kids' bedrooms have been fussy -- difficult to open and close, so I took advantage of a 70% off blinds sale.  Tonight I walked into my daughter's bedroom, which faces east and faces the nosy neighbors' house, to find my husband up on a step, interior lights blazing, hanging the new blinds in his underwear.

Oh, how I love that man.


Sydney said...

LMAO gotta love guys! I bet that ruined charlie brown forever.

Breathe said...

LOL! My DH does the same kind of thing. He considers boxers akin to shorts. I point out he would be concerned if I ran out side in my undies.

I get no where with this arguement. He just laughs and trotts off in his "grin and bear it" boxers.


Great photos of the pups, BTW!