Saturday, November 5, 2011

Stinky Horse Stories

I told you a few weeks ago about a lady who took me by surprise when I found her walking her horse on my property.  Every time I find another stranger on my land, I'm baffled by it.  It's not like I own dozens of acres.  I have one and a third acres, yet everyone seems to think it is public property.

This horse walker made such a habit of it that I stopped what I was doing one day to talk to her and see what's up with all the horse walking.  It turns out that her horse had a leg injury and was treated with stem cell therapy, so she had to walk him for ten minutes twice a day on level ground, which means the private road in front of my house.

You know how I love trespassers, but she wasn't hurting anything, so I didn't protest.  She warned me that she has to do this walking therapy for six months.  At the time I didn't mind, because she's not like the dog walker who peers into my windows as she passes.  This lady looks straight ahead and talks on her mobile phone, not in the least bit interested in anything I'm doing, so I was okay with her.

Then the other day I went outside and found a big pile of manure in the road.  When I walk my horses around the neighborhood, I always go back once I put the horse away and clean up any poopsidents.  Apparently, this lady doesn't have the same sensibilities and she keeps walking her horse back and forth right past the pile every morning and every night without giving it a second thought. 

Now, I admit that my husband and I used manure to patch a huge hole in our road caused by lost drivers turning around in the same spot multiple times a day, but it was our manure and our road.  I know that manure is a good fertilizer and biodegradable, but I don't want anyone crapping on my property without my permission.  I'm fed up with it. 

My annoying neighbors have started sending their dog over to our property off leash to poop every morning again.  My husband chased the dog back to its house this morning.  The neighbors always see us chasing the dog back, and they probably just think, "Oh, how nice, they're bringing our doggie back to us," as opposed to, "Gee, I guess I shouldn't let my dog crap on their lawn because it seems to be pissing them off."

I'm telling you, if my neighbors don't start respecting my property, I'm going to start flinging their poop right back at them.  Oh, and you know that young couple who lived on my annoying neighbors' porch for a month and then finally moved out?  Well, apparently they didn't move out, but just left for a two-week vacation.  They're baaaaaack.  And this time they brought TWO junk vehicles with them to add to the collection on my annoying neighbors' front lawn.

Sorry.  That horse story kind of morphed into a crappy story.  Pun intended.  My other horse story is today I remembered that the horses were due for their wormings.  I got all the syringes ready, grabbed all three halters and walked into the paddock fully expecting all three horses to start galloping back and forth to escape me.  However, Lostine trotted right up to me and stuck her nose in the halter!

Wow!  I gave her a big hug and a lot of praise.  Then Bombay and Gabbrielle followed suit, doing the exact same thing.  They got their hugs and praise too.  I "tied" all three to posts by loosely draping the lead ropes around the posts, and all three horses stood quietly.  They accepted their wormer paste with very little resistance, except Gabbrielle spooked when a flock of quail flew up out of the brush.  She jumped backwards right when I was plunging the syringe, and half the paste squirted right out the other side of her mouth and landed on the ground.  Sigh. 

With the temps being below freezing all night and most of the day, the horses are eager to get into their stalls.  They play this game while I'm mucking their stalls in which they push the manure wagon out of the way, rolling it downhill where I can't reach it with my fork, and they march right into the stall, making it difficult for me to clean.  So, I butt-bump them every time they stand where I need to clean, and they move out of my space to the other side of the stall.  I just keep butt-bumping them around the stall until they get tired of being pushed around by my tush and they finally leave.

Years ago I used to be so careful about mucking stalls while the horses where in there with me.  I wouldn't stand behind them or let the fork startle them by touching their legs with it.  Now I just pick up my fork and scratch them all over with it.  They love it.  If they press into my space, I say BACK while poking them with the plastic tines in the chest, and they act like it feels nice.  I pretend I'm a lion tamer poking them with the legs of a chair.  I'd swear they just laugh at me when I do this, because they usually do nothing to try to escape the situation.  If anything, they egg me on.  Bombay, especially, has such a silly sense of humor.  He'll puff his chest out and put his ears forward, reach right over the poking fork and tap me on the head with his muzzle.  It's like I'm saying, "You move," and he's saying, "No, you move..."  So, my butt-bumping is usually more effective than my fork-poking.

If I need to clean behind them, they have to move their butts.  If they try to lock their legs when I'm asking them to move their hindquarters, I step up the pressure until they know I mean business.  I make it clear that the space in the stall belongs to me when I am in it, and if they want to put up with my antics, they can stay in there with me, otherwise... take a hike, horse.


Grey Horse Matters said...

You have the most annoying neighbors I've ever heard of. I'd throw the poop back into their yard in a heartbeat. Just ask the horse walker to clean up after her horse next time you see her and she might surprise you by doing it.

Your horses sound like they like to play with you and your manure fork.

fernvalley01 said...

your nieghbors suck, and your horses are wonderful! Pretty much sums it up? At least you didn't get wormer in your hair! that is my favorite trick. Glad the horses are doing well and being thier sweet selves

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Poop and horsie games...such a contrast...but perhaps not really. lol!

I'm glad you were able to have some fun with your silly horses.


word verif: rotshyt


Dreaming said...

I am so glad we live with a lot of space between us and our neighbors. Your posts always make me shudder.

Funny that you mentioned startling your horse by touching a leg - I did that to Pippin one time. He hauled off and just missed me. I do make a habit of talking and touching both horses with the fork, now. That was just too close for me!

Linda said...

We've done that before--throw the poop back in the neighbor's yard. It's a very good idea. Still, it requires time and effort on your part that you shouldn't have to spend. :/

Anonymous said...

My sister used to let her dog run free and one day it came back with a note tied to its collar saying "keep your dog in your own yard, it is pissing on everything". That made her realize not everyone likes her dog so you might want to try that.

achieve1dream said...

Oh I like the idea of tying the note to the collar!! Well if you can catch it that is. :)

I like the story of mucking the stalls with the horses. I love Bombay. He sounds like such a character. He reminds me of Chrome in a way. :) I hope Chrome still has such a personality when he's all grown up.