Tuesday, January 3, 2012

It's Always Funny in Sillidelphia

I know the television show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" has been around a long time, but I've never watched it until yesterday.  I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.  There was this one episode in which the characters were dealing with the recession, and they found an RV camped out on the sidewalk in front of their bar.  They freaked out, because they knew that one RV would to attract a bunch more RVs and soon the sidewalk in front of their bar would become a Shanty Town.  Sure enough, more RVs started showing up overnight and semi-homeless people were erecting awnings and tents along the sidewalk.

The scenario reminded me so much of my annoying neighbors, because they keep taking in strangers and allowing them to either live with them inside their house or use their property for whatever purposes they need; be it to work on their vehicles, get water from their hose, borrow their cars, or ride their horses.  Once one person or junk vehicle shows up, I know it is only the tip of the iceberg, and usually within a few minutes or hours dozens of other people and vehicles start showing up and strangers take over the entire neighborhood.

So, this morning I went outside at the crack of dawn to get the horses out of their stalls and noticed a new pick-up truck I'd never seen before with California plates showed up overnight on their property.  I moaned, feeling totally frustrated, because we'd been having wonderful weather and I had high hopes of being able to ride my horses today.  No matter how annoying these neighbors are -- their guests are ten times worse, because they don't live in this neighborhood (full-time), so they don't respect it.

I went to grab some hay from a bale we had sitting out apart from the stack and found a half-eaten loaf of French bread sitting on top of the hay bale.  I thought that was odd, and later asked my husband and son if they put it there.  I knew we didn't have any French bread in our house, but just wanted to be sure.  They said they didn't put it there, and my husband had just knocked down the hay the day before.  So, that means that someone let himself into my side yard last night and sat on my hay bale outside my son's bedroom window eating.  It's time to start locking the friggin' gate again and put the police on speed dial.

The owners of this truck turned out to be the young couple that shows up from time to time to live and work with the neighbors for several weeks.  I can't stand them, because they practically live outside, so I can't get two minutes of alone time when I am in my horse paddock.  The woman is a heavy smoker and comes out onto the porch every few minutes to smoke another cigarette and stare at me.  She's obviously very poor, because she wears the same pink sweats every day.  I want to tell her that if she'd kick her habit, she'd have enough money to buy a second pair of pants.  The man must be 35-years-old, and he acts like he's 6-years-old, probably with the help of drugs.  Having him around is as bad as having that loud, obnoxious little boy around.

I had a photo shoot this morning, and of course the young man had to investigate what was going on at my place, so he grabbed the neighbors' dog and started walking it back and forth on my road in front of my house.  I hate it when they do that, because some of these shelter dogs I photograph are pretty wild and will not hesitate to attack another dog.  The dogs I was dealing with today came from a feral pack, and the boy dog growled at me, so we had to handle him carefully.  By walking their dog back and forth in front of my house, my neighbors and their guests may as well be waving some steak in front of a bear.  

Between them and another set of neighbors who keep letting their dogs loose, we constantly have dogs on our property.  My husband is getting pissed, because he can't take our dogs outside in our front yard anymore, because so many other people and dogs have been encroaching on our space. 

I went outside to feed the horses their lunch, and this male guest next door was perched on a pile of rocks at my fence line looking over the fence into my yard.  I was under the impression that he had been messing with my horses, and I broke it up when the horses heard me come outside.  The woman was watering the dirt.  Bombay walked past the man and the man jumped while waving his arms in the air and screaming, because the woman decided to spray him with the hose right then, but missed and sprayed my horse.  I glared at her, and she pointed the hose back at the ground and the two of them got quiet.  The weather is nice, but not warm enough to give my horses baths.

When I came out in the afternoon to clean stalls, the woman came out on the porch multiple times to smoke and watch me.  I noticed that the horses were doing something at the fence, and discovered that the neighbors had piled some fresh redwood right up against my fence and my horses were trying to chew on it through the chain-link.  They've already chewed and scratched a trailer that the neighbors backed into my fence.  There's a crease in the chain-link from where the trailer nearly broke it.  I can't wait for spring when we are out of these freezing night temperatures so that we can build a wall.  Then they can back their trailers and trucks into that wall all they want and see who wins.  (I'll take my chances with the high winds.  I NEED that wall.)

If that chain-link fence wasn't there dividing our property lines, I have no doubt that these people would park their vehicles all over my property.  The lady who lived there before them used to park on my property, so I extended the fence out to the area where she parked just to make it clear that is our land.  I didn't understand at the time why she couldn't just park in her own driveway.  It made no sense to park on my lot and walk to her house, but after she started stealing from me, I realized that she was parking on my property so that we'd get used to having her around and not pay any attention to her.  She also could take better notes on our habits the closer she got. 

This evening we were trying to watch a movie, and the dogs across the highway were barking loudly.  They only do that either when I am in my pasture or someone is picking up their mail.  The neighborhood mailboxes are on my land next to my pasture.  I figured that some neighbor was picking up his mail on the way home from work and the barking would stop in a minute.  However, when the barking didn't stop for over ten minutes, I went to the window to investigate.  Sure enough, my annoying neighbor was parked next to my pasture doing I don't know what. 

My husband went out to see what she was doing, and she jumped in her car, pulled a U-turn on the highway, and drove past our house back to her house.  My husband came back inside, and she turned around and drove past our house in the other direction less than a minute later.  Either she's totally senile and keeps forgetting things, or she was trying to spy on us, because it was dusk, and we had our interior lights on and our blinds were still open.  I glared at her as she drove past in each direction, and then I closed all the blinds.  She's a Lurker.  She always comes out as soon as it starts getting dark, and she loiters in front of neighbors' windows, whether on foot or in her car.  I guess she's too stupid to realize that the barking dogs give her away.

The other day these neighbors drove into their driveway next to my barn while I was cleaning stalls.  They sat in their car for about five minutes craning their necks to watch me.  The woman finally got out and took another five minutes to locate a key to open the door, bending over to look under all the pots on her porch.  Now I know how all those strangers get in and out.  Anyway, she went inside, and the man threw the driver's side door open, turned in his seat to face me with his legs hanging out, and just stared and stared and stared at me.

I stared back and as usual, he refused to look away.  He locked eyes with me like a bull about ready to charge.  I spit on the ground and went back to shoveling manure.  A short time later I heard a bizarre moaning that was kind of a cross between a cow mooing and someone saying, "Oh Lord!"

I looked at the man, thinking he was having a heart attack, and he was still sitting there staring at me.  I few seconds later, as soon as I looked away, I heard that loud moan again.  The third time was the loudest, and then he hopped out of the truck, slammed the door and went inside his house.  It occurred to me that he might have been playing with himself, because I could only see his big fat pink head and his legs sticking out of the truck.  I couldn't see what his hands and body were doing. 

I always thought these neighbors were just nosy and annoying, but now I'm beginning to wonder if the situation may be way worse than that.  If this 85-year-old man and his wife can be that perverted, I also have to question all these strange people who practically live at their house.  What is their interest in them?  Some of these people visit multiple times a day, and before the moaning incident I thought perhaps they were taking care of the old couple.  However the old couple seems to have no problem getting around, especially when it starts getting dark outside.  Creeps.

Also, there's a definite correlation between this younger man living with them and half-eaten loaves of French bread showing up in our horse paddock, side yard, and dog run.  He seems to be circling our house after dark, peeking in windows.  I may need to take time out from my busy schedule this week to just visit the police station in person and see if we can set up a sting.  This has been going on for so many years now that I obviously need help in catching the perv. 

I suspect the dogs have been catching him, and I've just been assuming they were barking at deer, because they've been really restless tonight and last night, asking to go outside every few minutes and barking in the direction of my other neighbor's back yard, which the pervert can easily get into from his back yard.  I noticed that this other neighbor put up some motion sensors in her back yard recently, and I assumed it was to catch the deer eating her garden, but now I'm beginning to wonder if she's having problem with half-eaten loaves of French bread showing up underneath her windows too.


fernvalley01 said...

super creepy!

Tina said...

Please be careful with your dogs and horses. I never trust people who just happen to throw food over the fence. These neighbors of yours are out right creepy. Please be careful. When you post about your neighbors, it's like a bad horror movie. You are a prisoner in your own home.

appydoesdressage said...

That is creepy, I would fully agree with going to the cops and explaining the situation and seeing what can be done. Perhaps some sort of stalking protective order? NV law states stalking as:

A person who, without lawful authority, willfully or maliciously engages in a course of conduct that would cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, harassed or fearful for the immediate safety of a family or household member, and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, harassed or fearful for the immediate safety of a family or household member, commits the crime of stalking. (NRS 200.575)
It sure sounds like they fit the bill. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Ugh.. your neighbors suck. I'm sorry you have to deal with them! I agree with Tina, you are a prisoner in your own home.

When my husband & I first moved in together, we lived in an apartment, & the lady upstairs was AWFUL.. she'd stomp around, play with her dog for hours into the night (she'd throw his ball down the hall so it would bounce & you could hear the dog running up & down the hallway), and we could never watch a movie at regular volume without her purposely pounding at us to turn it down.

And of course, when I pounded back at her, she'd come down & try to yell at me. (I slammed the door in her face)

She finally stopped after seeing us bring in our guns from having spent some time at the gun range, we each had a rifle case, & my husband had his handguns in a box. The look on her face when she saw us loaded with weapons was PRICELESS! She never bothered us again, & was finally respectful of the noise she made. :)

(sorry, I just wanted to share my horrible neighbor story) :)


Laughing Orca Ranch said...



word verif: sesseme

Open sesseme!

achieve1dream said...

Disgusting!!! I hope you can get the police involved because their behavior is absolutely ridiculous. If it were me I'd be setting up my own sting and popping the b******* in the legs with a pellet pistol. Works for mice, must work for other pests right? Yuck.

achieve1dream said...

Also I don't know how expensive they are, but maybe you could invest in motion sensor lights and game cameras! Then you would have pictures of them trespassing that you could go to the police with. Good luck!!