Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Journey: Part 2

You may recall that one of my problems with traveling last week was the timing of a certain visitor who is in the habit of completely incapacitating me for at least four days in a row.  Despite getting all the warning signs and pre-symptoms, the visitor never came.  I suspect that my body and mind had been under such intense stress that even Aunt Flo didn't want to be around me.

This is the empty room I slept in during my recovery. 

I decided that as soon as I felt even slightly stronger during my illness, I was going to pack the last of our belongings and hit the road.  I set my alarm for 3:00 AM Monday morning.  Despite packing most of the stuff the night before, I still had quite a few items to load up at that ungodly hour.  I tried to be very quiet, because my nosy neighbors' house was dark and silent, and I wanted it to stay that way.

One suitcase was too heavy to lift into the bed of my truck and too big to sit in the cab, so I had to open the back of the horse trailer, take a bunch of items out, put the suitcase in, and rearrange everything so that the heavy stuff was on the bottom and the lighter, more fragile stuff on top.  I went back inside the house, locked all the doors and turned off all the lights after one last room-by-room check, came out the front and around the side of the house to get in my truck.

I stopped dead in my tracks to see that my nosy neighbors' house was now lit up like a torch.  Apparently, I hadn't been quiet enough.  Every light inside the house was on, the porch light was on, and I could clearly see the front door was open just enough for my nosy neighbor to peep through it and peer out at me at 4:00 in the morning.

I said out loud, "You have got to be kidding me!  I could fart and you guys would wake up to investigate."

I pushed the unlock button on my key fob, which lit me up in the headlights.  I then stood on my tippy toes and gave a very big, exaggerated wave toward the crack in the front door of my neighbors' house.  I continued waving with this big, fake smile on my face, waiting for something to happen.  Either someone had to show herself and wave back or...

The door slammed, the porch light went off, and one-by-one the interior lights began switching off as they tried to convince me that they were returning to bed.

I got into my truck and discovered that my coffee cup would not fit into my cup holders.  I would have to finish my coffee before driving, because there was nowhere to set it down without an inevitable spill on my nice, new interior.  Even though I got my new truck last November, it didn't even have 800 miles on it, and still had that new car smell.

So, I sat in my truck with my engine running while drinking my coffee, while allowing my nosy neighbors to experience the full surround-sound and vibratory experience of having a neighbor who lets her truck engine idle while everyone is trying to sleep.  I could see them peering through blinds, so I gave them a taste of their own medicine, and pulled forward a few feet to make them think I was leaving, and then I stopped and idled and sipped my coffee.  I did this repeatedly until I was through my gate, then I got out of the truck to shut the gate, making sure that I slammed my truck door as loudly as possible.

I think if I wasn't hauling my trailer, I might have attempted to turn into the horse paddock and sit at the fence with my headlights shining into my nosy neighbors' house, because that's what they did to me when I was outside working with my horses.  They pulled their vehicles right up to my fence and sat their idling their engines and staring at me like my property was their private drive-in theater.

Since I couldn't maneuver to shine my headlights into their house, I drove over one-handed to my second least favorite neighbor's house and sat their idling, shining my headlights into their windows, and drinking my coffee with a big smile on my face.  This is the house where the guy comes out at night, smokes, drinks, and eats candy on our property, and leaves all his trash behind.  We also now suspect him of stealing a pole vault pole that my son had been storing on the front side of our house.  I heard some strange noises out there one night, but didn't make the connection that the pole was missing until weeks later.

At least we did get two out of three of our missing poles back.  I called the gardener and explained the mix-up with his men throwing some of our fiberglass pole vault poles into the wood and metal scrap pile to take to the dump.  I asked, if by any chance, they didn't take them to the dump, could I have them back.  Amazingly, they found the two poles and returned them to me.  Unfortunately, that happened after the movers had left, so I had to tie one pole to each side of my horse trailer.  It actually worked out well, because the poles prevented people from opening the side doors to steal stuff, and I had a combination lock on the rear doors of the trailer.

Anyway, when I was almost done with my coffee, I then maneuvered my truck to point my headlights into my third most annoying neighbor's house.  This is the guy who manufactures granite and marble counter tops out of his garage, and idles his loud, diesel engine for hours on end early in the morning and throughout the day.  He's also very popular, and every time one of his friends drives past his house, they feel the need to honk hello to him.  The guy is very nice, but totally oblivious to just how much noise pollution he and his friends cause for our neighborhood.  I revved my engine a few times for him.

I contemplated doing one long honk with my middle finger extended out the window, but decided to reserve that tactic for when I come back to get my Camry.  At least the engine idling and revving and headlight thing is subtle and really no different from what all my neighbors to do me, so when I return to the Nevada house, I can always deny that my rude behavior was intentional.  The honk and the middle finger would be difficult to deny, so I need to make sure it is my final trip out of town when I pull that stunt.

11 comments:

Grey Horse Matters said...

HA, HA, HA! Good for you at least you got some revenge and satisfaction before leaving.

Reddunappy said...

Awesomeness!!! LOL LOL

Cheryl Ann said...

Glad you got out of your old house and I can't wait to see photos of the new one! Sorry to hear about your horses...do you think this is from their trailer ride?

BrownEyed Cowgirl said...

Bwhaahahaa...Good for YOU!!!

Rebecca said...

Yay for giving them a taste of their own medicine! :o) Can't wait to read about your new adventures with the new house.

appydoesdressage said...

Am glad things are looking better for you in part 2 versus part 1. And I think the stalling was rightly deserved, how funny your neighbors turned their lights off when you waved. Ha!

SquirrelGurl said...

Awesomesauce!!!

Those ex-neighbors deserved every bit of that and more!

Enjoy your new place!

fernvalley01 said...

hmm, wonder if they got the point ?

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Well good for you! I'm glad you got some much deserved satisfaction!

~Lisa

lytha said...

like reddunappy said, "AWESOMENESS!"

i loved this post so much i told my husband the entire story: )

and btw, american travel mugs do not fit in most european vehicle cup holders and it drives me nuts!

the fact that they got up at 4 am to watch you...unbelievable!!!

and the fact that you can actually shine your headlights into three other homes from your house..my gosh that's close!

i am so, so happy for you and arizona. it looks exotic and wonderful. you can bathe bombay year round. you have neighbors asking if they can make noise? that was the pivotal moment, wasn't it?

achieve1dream said...

That's awesome!! I'm glad they finally get a taste of their own medicine. I wish I didn't have to go to bed, because I really want to see how the trip went, but I'll have to read it in the morning. I hope everyone is feeling better.