Monday, January 27, 2014


It's been a tough week.  My husband hurt his lower back when he fell off Rock last Monday, and then I started getting sick on Tuesday.  By Friday and most of Saturday, I was immobilized and experiencing pain that rivaled childbirth, so my husband had to take over doing the chores and running errands with his bad back.  Of course, of course, of course... both of our dogs had to get sick at the same time.  Midge had a diabetic episode and was peeing constantly.  Scrappy probably ate a poisonous bug off the floor and got diarrhea.  He's been needing to be taken out every 20 minutes for the past three days.  You'd think with him being such a little dog, at some point he'd have to empty himself out and be done with it.

Needless to say, my husband hasn't been getting much sleep.  I've been taking drugs for the pain which help me sleep, but I wake in the morning realizing that I've been hearing the door opening and closing all night long and I feel terrible that I can't help.  My husband moans and groans every time he has to go from standing to sitting to lying to sitting to standing...  And despite him taking the dogs out all night to prevent carpet accidents, my daughter ended up being late for work because she was scrubbing a trail of crap out of the hallway and living room deposited sometime during the night, plus she couldn't find her keys.

On Sunday my toilet (we each have our own bathroom, which is why I call it "my toilet") broke for the third time in so many days.  I wanted to clean it before investigating the latest problem.  The first cleaning product I put in it didn't do anything except go straight down the drain, because there was no water in the bowl, so I poured a thicker toilet cleaning product in the bowl, and apparently each product had some ingredient that wasn't supposed to mix with the other, and I paid for that mistake.

I bent over the bowl to start scrubbing, and when I inhaled, I got blasted in the face with some fumes that burned my sinus cavity, throat, lungs, and eyes.  I got disoriented and realized I was essentially being asphyxiated by gasses, so I scurried out of the bathroom into fresh air.  Once I stopped coughing and crying and was breathing again, I couldn't even walk into the bathroom because the fumes were so strong.  So, I turned on the ceiling fan.  I ended up being nauseated and dizzy the rest of the day.  I was like, "Great.  Just what I need on top of already being sick and in pain."

The horses have been getting nothing but grass hay the past couple of days because neither of us can climb up to get down another bale of alfalfa.  I'm just glad it's not the other way around, because this alfalfa is so rich that it is really for cows, and if we had to feed the horses alfalfa for every meal, they would probably colic.

I'm hoping I can get better fast so I can take the dogs the a new vet, if it gets to that point, and give my husband a rest.  He was out there for at least an hour cleaning up manure and filling water troughs last night, and each time he completed more physical labor, he'd come in bent over double the amount he was bent over before.

I did shuffle outside earlier thinking I might have the strength to do some barn chores, but then my neighbor came out of her house with her barking dogs at the same time and my horses started lifting their tails and pooping faster than I could walk to the gate.  I wanted to go clean the stalls and paddocks throughout the day, but each time I looked out the window, my neighbors were doing something right up near my fence, and I didn't want them calling me over to talk, because I was in too much pain to walk long distances.  I didn't want to get into this situation when I yell out that I can't come to the fence, and they keep yelling, "What?  We can't hear you!  Come over here!"

These neighbors really aren't too bad about interrupting me, but I'm gun shy because I had two neighbors at my previous house who were self-involved non-stop talkers, always calling me to the fence to talk (about themselves) and I couldn't get anything done.  I'd tell them, "I can't talk.  I've only got a few minutes to clean stalls or work with a horse before I have to go back to work..." and they would ignore me and keep on talking.

It pissed me off that I was working 80 hours a week and had no free time while these neighbors didn't have jobs and were constantly seeking out sounding boards to hear their life stories.  I had to train myself to either pretend like I was deaf and didn't hear them calling me to the fence in the first place, or walk away while they were talking to me.  Usually, they'd just let themselves in my gates and follow me around talking when I was desperately hoping for quiet so that I could put two of my own thoughts together after having multiple coworkers all talking to me at the same time on two different phone lines and unlimited instant messaging all morning.

So, yesterday I was waiting for these neighbors to go inside, but they literally spent the whole weekend in their backyard with their dogs running around.  So, I was annoyed that I could not walk outside once without them immediately coming into their backyard at the exact same time and bringing their dogs with them.  I was thinking, "Seriously?  You just spent nearly 8 hours straight out here.  What else do you need to do?"

I stood there thinking, "I have to walk all the way over there to get my gloves, all the way over there to get a fork, all the way over there to get the wagon, and then I have to pull it through the gate, and scoop poop while listening to my neighbors yelling back and forth to each other and at their dogs while their dogs are racing around barking..."

It was just too much, even though the gloves, fork and wagon were all within 10-feet of each other.  That's how ill I felt.  I think if the neighborhood were quiet, I might have been able to muster up the energy, but noise depresses me.  I don't know why I'm so sensitive to noise, but I've always been this way.  I probably should live in a library, or at least hire a librarian to follow me around and shush everyone who makes noise around me.  I would say that my favorite TV show is "Silent Library", except that they do such disgusting, unfunny stunts that I can't sit through an entire episode.  It's really a show for frat boys.  But I like the silence.  I often watch TV and play video games with the volume turned all the way down or muted.

And, of course, when I am sick and in pain, I'm especially sensitive to noise and bright light.  So, I turned around and went back into the house to collapse on the couch.  As I was going inside I looked over my shoulder and saw my neighbor standing at the fence watching me.  I suspect she wanted to talk to me about something, so I was glad I went inside, because there is no way I could have been able to walk all the way over there and remain upright as she talked.  The place where they talk to me over the fence is right where the horses like to poop the most, so it's not like I can just lay down in the sand while she's talking.  Although I admit that some days I've been too exhausted to keep scooping poop and to walk back to the house, so I'd just lay down in a clean spot.  That always freaks out the horses, and they come over to poke and prod me with their noses to see if I'm alive.  I thank them for their concern.

I have always wished to meet some guru who could look into my past and explain to me why I have this karma.  Literally every time I get sick and need to rest, my animals gets sick or injured at the same time.  Also, everything mechanical starts breaking down and if I want it fixed, I have to get out of bed and get involved.  This is also the time when people start asking if they can come over to my house.  I have learned to say no, even if they insist that they won't be a bother, because usually something does happen that requires me to exert physical energy and I end up having a relapse. I'm sure nobody has the intention to stress my body worse, but that's always what happens.

So, after this intermission, I promise I will return to my regularly scheduled program and horse talk.


Sam said...

Get well soon! It seems that everyone is catching something. Let me know if I can pull some hay bales down for you or such. :)

fernvalley01 said...

hope you are on the mend soon

Carol Chase said...

Hope you are feeling better!!!

I can certainly understand you not wanting to be called out to by your neighbors! For many reasons, but especially when you don't feel well. It's too bad the people aren't more considerate of the fact your time is limited and precious, when you aren't at work!

Feel better soon. :)