Monday, March 16, 2015

Tick Tock Goes the Clock

My health had another relapse, so I don't have any horsey posts to write.  In fact, I feel like I've been totally neglecting my horses over the past three weeks, because I can only spend a short period of time out of bed and on my feet.  My body couldn't have picked a worse time to not cooperate with me, because the weather is beautiful and there are wildflowers everywhere.  I want so much to be outside riding horses and taking pictures.

I'm trying to relieve some of my guilt over not following through on promises and on not doing items on my To Do List by chipping away at them a little at a time.  I have this needlepoint kit I've been working on for probably twenty years now.  It's a teapot that you place over a square box of tissues, and you pull the tissues out of its spout.  So, I spent some time this weekend finishing the needlepoint part of the project.  Of course, they didn't supply enough yarn in the needed colors, so I improvised.  When it came time to assemble the parts, my brain went dead.  I'm going to have to hire an engineer to figure this one out.

I also finished reading a book that blogger Katharine Swan recommended to me.  It always feels good to read a book from beginning to end, because I have so many books that I've just abandoned somewhere in the middle.

I've officially promised three different people that I will horseback ride with them, but I'll be surprised if it ever happens.  They have to be available at a time when I'm available, which is harder than it seems because everyone is busy pretty much all the time, and my body has to behave itself.  I try really hard not to set up appointments or social engagements nowadays, because I can be feeling great one minute, and then completely crash the next.  I hate having to cancel on people.  It makes me appear to be flaky and it inconveniences others.  If I were healthy, I'd stick to every engagement I commit to.  The problem is my body.  It's getting old.  I'm rotting from the inside out.

I still want to ride with blogger Christine more often.  We are averaging one ride a year together, which is pretty sad when you consider that our horses live so close.  P.S. traded her Quarab for a Missouri Fox Trotter.  I have always wanted to ride a gaited horse, and she was kind enough to allow me to ride him one of these days when my body can get its act together.  I'm very excited about that.  Then the other night my son and his girlfriend drove to our area from California, and I felt well enough to meet them for dinner, along with her parents.  Her mother used to ride horses and misses it.   She and I get along well and I enjoy her company, so I offered to have her come over and ride with me on my horses.  

I warned her that I'd have to get Rock tuned up first, though.  All the horses are out of practice, and Rock is the only horse I would trust with a beginner rider, or a rider returning to riding after a long, long intermission.  I forewarned her about all the dangers, but that didn't deter her.  She seemed more concerned about running into rattlesnakes than getting thrown from a horse.  I explained that when we ride past rattlesnakes on our horses, the snakes usually don't rattle or strike, and we often turn our horses around to go back and look at the snakes.  That has never agitated either the horses or the snakes.  But I wouldn't want a rattlesnake in my barn, because the horses would get curious and poke or paw at it, and that would lead to a bite.

I'm getting worried, because this is the time of year when my Gila Monster friends come out of hibernation and I run into them on my back steps, but I haven't seen one yet this year.  I guess all the extra water is making the reptiles hibernate longer.

This morning I tried to knock one of my medical tests off my To Do List by driving to the next town over to get some lab work done.  I thought it was safe, because the past couple of times I've gone to the market, I didn't feel like a ping-pong ball being batted around by wall-to-wall bodies.  It seems some of the winter visitors have gone home.  However, when I reached the lab, I had trouble finding a parking spot when the lot usually only has five or six cars in it.  Inside the lab, every chair in the waiting area was taken and there was standing room only.  The line of people spilled out into another medical office.  I had to wait in line just to sign in.  

The lady in front of me was so severely overweight that she could barely squeeze through the doorway and had to walk with the help of a cane.  When she signed in, she kept sighing loudly, like just standing up and holding a pen was draining her of all her energy.  I could totally relate, but her situation seemed much worse than mine.  Then she turned around and saw me standing behind her and sighed super loud in my face, looking me up and down with an angry expression.  I realized that she was trying to figure out how she was going to get past me, so I stepped to the side and pressed my body against the wall.  She sighed with each step and made it clear to everyone that she was beyond miserable, so an elderly woman stood up and gave her her seat.  I found that to be rather ironic, because usually young people are supposed to yield to older people, and men are supposed to yield to women.  There weren't many young people in the waiting area, but there were plenty of men who could have offered her their seat instead of letting an elderly women do it and have her get stuck standing.

I ended up sitting in the waiting area of a different medical office, hoping I could hear them call my name next door.  Standing was not an option for me.  The medical receptionist totally ignored me.  Usually, they at least greet you, take your paperwork, and give you a cup to pee in.  I didn't think I would hear my name being called because the TV in the waiting room I was using was too loud.  They had some kind of video playing in which doctor was trying to sell plastic surgery to people.  I thought what a sad state of affairs our society is in when doctors actively sell their services on TV.  It means that there are less doctors who want to help the sick and injured, and more doctors who want to run a business and make lots of money.  

I overhead a woman telling someone that the lab was 20 minutes behind if you have an appointment.  I didn't have an appointment, so I was estimating that it would be an hour wait at the very least based upon all the people who got there before me.  As I waited, more and more people were pouring in.  I felt like I was at a concert, not a medical lab.  Then someone started coughing, and that little voice in my head said, "You know, for every minute that you are sitting here waiting, some virus is trying to get up your nose or in your eyes."

I leaped up out of my chair, ran to the reception desk to cross out my name, but the line was too long for the sign in sheet, so I just ran out of the building and drove home in bumper-to-bumper traffic going 40 mph in a 65 mph zone.  At least I can tell my doctor that I tried to the get the lab work done.  That relieves some of my guilt.  Honestly, I've never had blood work return any information to the doctor that has helped her diagnose my issues, so it's all a pretty big waste of time.

I still don't have my prescription that I need to be a normal person, and that's my priority.  If I don't have it by tomorrow, I'm going to just see my old doctor at her new clinic and pay out of pocket.  At least she and I have a relationship, so hopefully she would treat me more like a friend and less like a number.

It's experiences like these that make me miss my old town back in Nevada.  At least I had competent doctors and vets who cared about people and animals, and people didn't have to battle the masses to see them and to get medical tests run.  But that town has the same problems it has always had:  No jobs, lots of snow and ice, wildfires, main arteries being shut down due to car accidents, power outages that last for days, endless construction and repairs causing noise pollution, and the weirdos next door.  I figure one of these days the renters will move out, and I will be able to go back and stay in our old house for a few days and see if anything has changed.  In the meantime, just looking out the window I can see that things are changing in the desert on a daily basis.  Tick tock goes the clock.  Some things move faster than others.  I seem to be in the slow lane right now.


Stephanie said...

Ohhhh! What a mess you are in :(
I hope you feel better soon and can get back out to the horses and get some pictures of the windflowers. Sending you good healing vibes!

ellie k said...

I am so sorry to hear all of this going on. I wish you to be well enough to ride and soon. I bet the horses miss you as nuch as you miss them. Maybe you can find a dr. office that does there own lab work. That is coming more common here in Florida.

Ian H said...

I will be praying for you!

Cheryl Ann said...

I hear you about labs and doctors. I actually followed my doctor when she left a large practice and went out on her own. That was about 12 years ago. Now she spends 5 minutes on me, then goes to the next patient. WTH? ...sigh...I have lab work from over a year ago that needs to be done and I'm thinking about just dropping off the forms to her office and asking them to just renew them. She likes to watch my blood sugar level, but that's the only thing she watches.
Take care. I know how you feel. I'm exhausted every day and it's SPRING and the kids are HORRIBLE!
Cheryl Ann

achieve1dream said...

What an awful mess!! I hope you feel better soon and can get the prescription figured out. The health care has just gone to crap with this stupid government garbage. :( I hope it gets back to normal someday but I'm not holding my breath.