I've been pondering what to do about my daily routine. It clearly is not working for me. I literally spend the majority of my day cleaning up waste and feeding animals so that they can make more waste. I haven't collected any additional pets in the past year and nine months, but it seems to be getting harder as the animals get older.
Now that Scrappy has figured out that I've been hand-feeding Stewie, he too has stopped eating out of bowls and insists that I hand-feed him. So, I'm hand-feeding two dogs three times a day, which can easily take up two hours total. Throw in a sick or injured horse or dog, and my day gets eaten up pretty fast.
Bombay has had a swollen sheath over the past few days. I set up an appointment with the vet tomorrow, and have been hosing it down, which he hates. He kicks violently out to the side, which is why I would never clean his sheath without him being sedated. Fortunately, the swelling is finally going down, but I think I still want the vet to come out to do a more thorough sheath cleaning and verify that there is no infection.
I sometimes get a little bit of free time, but if I get a phone call from someone who just wants to talk, or if I have to run an errand in town, then there definitely is no time left to do what I want. The three main activities I like to do when I have down time are work on writing a novel, work on fabric arts projects, and ride horses. They are all time consuming and require concentration. I definitely cannot write if anyone else is in the house talking to me, so I have to write on the week days when family members are at work.
People in public places have been trying my patience lately, because they act like they have all the time in the world, and they don't think twice about sucking up my time with their personal agendas. Some days I want to scream, "Come on! I only get about half an hour of free time a day. Stop burning it up."
But much of the problem is me. I am incapable of getting back on track once I am distracted or interrupted. For instance, I ran out onto the bridle trails just to see what kind of condition they were in after two days of rain, because I intended to ride a horse. I got distracted by some hoof prints in the mud and decided to follow them, because I was curious about where they came from. During that sleuthing process, I kept stumbling upon garbage -- mostly beer and soda containers and Mylar balloons, so I picked up the trash until my arms were full and carried it all home to dump in my trash can.
By then I had walked a mile and was too tired to ride a horse. When my energy returned, it started raining again. I keep telling myself that I have to stay focused, because there's no guarantee that I will be able to ride a horse tomorrow or even in an hour from now. I have to do the things that I enjoy while I can. So, I wake up the next morning with the intention to ride a horse as soon as the horses are done eating, but I get tired of waiting for them to finish, so I get started on some chores. Next thing I know, the day is over and I still haven't ridden a horse. What is wrong with me?
I do a lot of blogging, but I usually do it while I'm eating, so I can't be sewing or riding a horse at that time anyway. I suppose I could work on my novel then instead of blogging, but writing a novel burns way more brain cells than writing a blog post, so I'm not good at multi-tasking when I work on my novel.
I wish I could make sense of it all. Hopefully, the cobwebs will clear away and it will come to me how I can better manage my time. Last fall through spring was so disappointing for me because it felt like I hardly got out to ride the horses compared to the year before. Every time we had nice weather, the power company took over the bridle trails. Two years ago I was riding every other day. I'm not getting any younger and I need to ride while I can.
Every night I go to bed literally dreaming of riding horses, and every morning I wake up with the intention to ride, yet it just doesn't happen. Another day goes by and I'm like, "What just happened? I'm missing time. Did I get abducted by aliens or something?"
I'm also supposed to be working out on the gym equipment for at least an hour a day, and so far I've been lucky to get ten minutes every other day to do that. Maybe my goals are unrealistic, and I should just accept that there is only enough time in the day to feed and clean up after animals.