Perhaps "On Stall Rest... Sort Of"? Or maybe, "What Part of 'Rest' Don't You Understand?"
I think that in the future if I ever have another scheduled surgery, as opposed to emergency surgery, I will call everyone I know in advance and say, "Hey, I'm not going to be available for x number of weeks, so if you need anything from me, ask me now."
I cannot believe the number of people who have come out of the woodwork right after my surgery to make demands upon me. I got so pissed that I shut off my phone. Even those who know I've had surgery don't seem to care, and just keep calling to hassle me. While it's true that I'm not bedridden and I am feeling pretty good, I still do need to rest. I can't be running around solving other people's problems, and the stress isn't doing anything to help me heal.
One relative phoned and told me that he had a dream in which I told him I had just had surgery, and he claimed to be calling to see how I was doing. He did not know about this surgery, we have no mutual friends or relatives who could have told him, and he has no Internet access, so I was astounded by his extra sensory perception. Then he asked for $200 so he could "pay his rent". It's not even the first of the month. It takes the bank 48 hours to process a transfer, and he was calling me repeatedly less than 12 hours later leaving frantic messages wanting to know where his money was.
Needless to say, I did not return any of his calls. I've already explained to him dozens of times about that 48 hour rule, but he's mentally ill, so everything goes in one ear and right out the other. The really stupid thing is that he kept me on the phone for hours while he rambled on about nothing in particular and never got to the point of any of his stories, so by the time I got off the phone with him, the bank was closed and couldn't process the transfer until morning anyway. Sometimes you just get to a point where you are not willing to expend anymore energy on difficult people, and I was way past that point.
The day before my surgery, my property manager phoned to tell me that the garage door opener broke at our rental house. I agreed to pay several hundred dollars to replace it along with the remotes to control it. Then right after my surgery, less than a week later, the tenants contacted the property manager again, this time asking me to pay to have all the windows on the house replaced. WTH? Don't you think that is an inappropriate request to come from a renter? That's a major cosmetic overhaul. It's not like the microwave oven stopped working.
I understand that they are probably getting high heating bills this time of year, but my feeling is that if they can find a rental home with better insulation in that area, knowing that pretty much all the homes in that valley were built the same way with the same materials, then go for it. These renters have been a pain in my butt since the day they started renting from me. The woman acts like a prima donna. When I tried to replace the bulging bathroom floorboards caused by an old, now repaired water leak, she refused to let the repairmen into my home because she didn't want to lose one of her bathrooms for a few days. She wasn't willing to share the master bath with her kids. Yet she's perfectly willing to let people replace all the windows, because it was her idea to do so.
I'm not happy about her having two very expensive "repairs" done at my expense while I've got medical bills piling up. Her timing couldn't have been worse. She's also in the habit of contacting the property manager on Fridays at closing time, so that the manager has to call me to handle it. One time I had to call this renter to resolve a problem with the sprinklers not turning off. The woman's husband is a gardener, but he wouldn't come home from wherever he was to deal with it, and the property manager was off duty for the weekend. I tried talking the woman through the process to shut it off, and she said she couldn't possibly do that. She went off on this crying pity party telling me all about some unrelated personal problem, and I felt sorry for the woman, so I called this poor gardener in the middle of the night and begged him to get out of bed and drive 30 miles to shut off the water. It angered me that this woman was right there, but wasn't willing to lift a finger to help.
Another time I saw on a work order that I had to pay extra for some repairman to do something because the lady of the house was "handicapped" and couldn't do it herself. She's not handicapped. I've seen pictures and videos of her at my house on Facebook. She's just too precious to do physical labor, even if it means taking 30 seconds to turn a knob.
But I digress... Today I had the farrier coming over. Our appointment was actually last week, but of course, the hospital had to schedule my surgery during my farrier appointment and I had to inconvenience my farrier by pushing it forward a week. My husband had scheduled a physical therapy appointment for himself, and did not feed the horses or clean up in the barn, so I fed them, raked some manure in one stall into a couple of piles so that the farrier would have a clean place to work, fed the dogs, took them out, showered, ate, etc. My husband got home right when the farrier arrived, and he ran out to clean stalls since I'm still not supposed to lift anything, while I supervised the farrier. He doesn't want people to hold the horses while he works, but I still insist on being nearby in case he needs help. Despite the farrier's calm and confident presence, my horses do tend to blow up over the slightest provocation.
The horses were already nervous, because coyotes had gone on a rampage all night and tried stealing the horses' toys again. They made off with their T-shirt that they play tug-o-war with, but the horses managed to hide their ball in a water trough. The horses are really getting smart about dealing with these wily coyotes.
One coyote kept coming up to our front door and that got my dogs barking, so I had to run outside in my bare feet and chase him off at 2:00 in the morning. We were surrounded by screaming coyotes in all directions. It was difficult to sleep. I later discovered that the coyote by our front door had bitten into our drip system and broke it in order to drink water. With my husband's back bothering him, he can't lie on the ground to repair it. I'm also due for more bags of pellets, and neither of us can lift 50 and 80 pound bags, so I'll have to pay for the feed store to send a couple of their guys over to deliver and unload it.
Anyway, my farrier was blasting his truck radio, and my husband was making noise hitting the manure fork on the wagon, so the horses were a bit jumpy. Then my husband came around the truck to ask a question and that sent Bombay flying. He ripped his hoof out of the farrier's grasp and ran backwards right at me while I was sitting in a chair. I screamed and jumped up to avoid getting run over. Everyone settled down pretty quickly, but I knew this overreaction was in the making after that coyote rampage.
My husband left, we switched out horses, and next thing I knew, Bombay was making a break for it. My husband didn't latch the barn gate. I blurted out an expletive and the farrier said, "Do we have an escapee?"
I said, "I've got it!"
I forget that he's also a horse trainer and probably could help, but my knee-jerk reaction when a horse escapes is to tell everyone to back off and hold still. The worse thing you can do is chase it. My farrier told me to grab his halter out of his truck. As I approached Bombay with it, his head flew up and he got this wild look in his eye like he was planning to bolt up the driveway. I came at him from an angle where he was cornered and the only way out was around me. I threw the rope around his neck and led him back to the barn. My farrier stepped toward us, and Bombay turned away, dragging me past the gate. He wasn't ready to give up his freedom. The farrier grabbed the lead rope and wrestled him backward and got him through the gate. I was thankful, because I don't think I should have been doing that at all. I think wrestling a horse qualifies as heavy lifting and exercise.
Anyway, now that I've got all my appointments out of the way and have shut off my phone, I'm going to try to get some rest. I still have to do some house cleaning to get ready for Thanksgiving, but I'm planning on taking that slowly anyway. I've learned from years past that whatever cleaning I do more than three days ahead of time gets canceled out anyway, so it's best to do it all at the eleventh hour.
One other funny story. I walked past a window and saw a strange horse in my back yard. Occasionally, neighbors' horses get loose and wind up at my haystack. I thought, "Free horse! Just what I need when I can't sell the ones I've got."
I took a closer look and saw that the horse was saddled and tied to my hitching post. Then I saw my friend. She had recently moved into a house that is probably a 15 minute drive from where I live, and she rode her horse over to my place to help do barn chores. It took her about an hour to get here via hoof in desert. We've been planning on riding together, but one thing after another has gotten in the way. She found a route to my house that only requires crossing a couple of busy streets, so hopefully once I can start riding again I can meet her out in the desert. My horses were very excited to see her horse, and Bombay was begging for her to take him with her when she left.
The other problem is that I always get sick with one of my pesky health problems on the day of a photo shoot, and I hate letting people down by either having to reschedule or not being at the top of my game. People don't realize how much agility, speed and focus goes into photography... and I'm not talking about the camera. I'm talking about the person behind the camera needing to be strong and healthy and not on pain killers. Hopefully, after this surgery, at least one of my health problems will be solved.
Anyway, I called her back and found out that my business is still in the yellow pages. The job was just to do a portrait, as opposed to an all day or all weekend event like I usually do, so I think I can handle it if she decides to hire me. She sounded like a really sweet lady. She seemed a little shocked by my estimate, but I keep telling myself to stop doing people favors and giving out discounts, because I never get paid for all of my labor. So far, the majority of people I've worked for were friends or friends of friends, and I've given out way too many freebies over the years thinking that they would lead to other jobs, but they never did. At some point here, I have to start charging for the whole shebang.