Thursday, January 5, 2017

Trespasser Finale, Hopefully

This afternoon I was shoveling manure and getting ready to put the horses in the barn when I looked up and saw my neighbor trespasser standing at the top of the hill watching me.  I looked at him to see what he was going to do.  Sure enough, right in front of me, he crossed over our fence line and started hiking down into my backyard.  I whipped out my phone and pretended to type in three numbers, then held it up to my ear and said loudly, "Yeah, I have a trespasser.  Can you send somebody over?  That's right.  Thank you."

No reaction.  He just kept on coming, throwing the tree branches we had laid across the trail out of his way.  I was PISSED!

I marched over to his backyard and stood at the location where he would come out of the arroyo.  He popped up out of the bushes and said, "Oh oh, I'm in trouble."

"Yes, you are," I said.  "Did you get the note I stuck to the No Trespassing sign?"

He said yes.

"Can you understand why I don't want people trespassing on my property?"

He said yes.

"Then what is the problem?  Why do you keep doing it?"

He said with a sweet smile, "Okay. I won't do it anymore.  It is your property."

WTF?  If it were that simple, why didn't he just respect all of my past requests for him to stop?  I didn't trust that he would actually stop doing it, so I went into more detail about the issues, informing him that I have been injured twice when he was walking down in the arroyo and he spooked my horses.

He said, "I've never noticed any problem with them.  Are you sure it was me?"

I said, "It was someone coming and going from your house."

He said, "Well, I'm sorry about that.  It's just that I've been hiking here for 20 years, and it makes a nice little loop to come through your property.  But I promise, I will stop."

I reminded him that he's creating a trail for other less desirable people to take, and then we have to deal with theft and people looking in our windows and people getting bit by our horses and dogs.

He said, "I didn't realize there was a problem.  I just come down the arroyo to my backyard.  Where do other people go?  I've never seen them come through."

It was as if he was accusing me of lying.  I said that mostly in the winter, we get these visitors who vacation here every once in a while, and they remember that they used to be able to cut through our land, so they keep on doing it when they see the trail he makes.  I told him that they come up behind my arena, past my horse trailer, past my bathroom window, up the driveway, to the public trails.

I'm not sure how he can miss it, because the neighbor who lives one house further down from him has approached my husband to ask if he could plant things on that hill to stop people from trespassing and standing up there staring into our backyards.  It bugged him enough to want to take action.

I think this guy was just hard of hearing with poor eyesight and self-involved.  He sure put on the sweet old man act when I confronted him.  It was hard to rip into him, because when he smiled, he reminded me of my grandmother.  His teeth looked just like hers -- yellowing, crooked, and with partial dentures.  Hopefully, he'll stay true to his word and take a different route in the future.  We'll see.

I'm thinking if he doesn't stop, I might grab my walking stick, chase him down, and walk with him, babbling my life story as we go.  I'll just invite myself on his walks and follow him relentlessly.  If he truly likes solitude like I suspect he does, he'll learn to avoid me pretty quick, which means avoiding going through my backyard.  You've got to get creative with people like this.


TeresaA said...

Good for you for confronting him! I like your plan of accompanying him whenever he cuts through.

Camryn said...

Fingers crossed it works. Otherwise, I love your idea 👌🏻

Crystal said...

Well I hope that's it, but if not sure would be entertaining to be there while you babble to him

ellie k said...

Good job, keep right on him until he can't stand the sight of you. Does Bamboo grow out there? Here in Florida you can plant a couple of starts and it will take over and get about ten feet tall and just keep spreading. That might give you some break from people walking there.

Linda said...

I also like the idea of walking with him. Who knows, there might be a friendship waiting to blossom. Lol.

Grey Horse Matters said...

I like the walking with him idea. That should do it, especially if you talk non-stop about yourself and your horses and dogs and don't forget the husband and kids and what they're doing in detail. I hope he listens but he probably was placating you for the time being. You really do need to be creative with people like that. Good luck!

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Linda - After what you said, I'm getting cold feet. What if I'm reading him wrong, and he'd actually enjoy the company? Then I'd have to deal with him constantly coming over to chat. That's the last thing I need.

I actually made a promise to myself when I moved that I wouldn't get to know any of the neighbors, because the neighbors at my old house talked my ear off for hours every day and I had no time to ride my horses.

KateRose said...

I find that super creepy that he won't stop trespassing. I'd just sit on my porch with a paintball gun if I were you :) But others suggestions were much nicer haha

Janice Grinyer said...

I really hate when people gaslight you as you confront them with truth- "are you sure? What makes you think that?" etc.

Youve hit it on the head- he will avoid you if you make an effort to talk to him every.single.time. Whether it be about the branch removal and how he needs to put them back because its your property (he's not too old if he's negotiating arroyos!) or you chastise him yet again because he is a liability to you and your family and you may have to contact your family lawyer to be on stand by for the next time you get hurt- he will avoid you probably in record time. I'll put bets down that he would only last for two weeks...and if that doesnt work, pull out the religon aspect and ask him if he wants to MEET jesus today.

I'd Mother Superior him to death - nun finger wagging and all. :D

Mrs Shoes said...

Hahaha, paintball gun! "Oopsy, sorry, I didn't know it was YOU out there, I thought it was just some rude, entitled asshole trespassing on my property again. :-(" hahaha

I love the idea of you tagging on his heels, but just on your property to cement the message. If he gets out of line, crack him one in the ankle with your stick just hard enough to sting, then deny, deny, deny.

Cheryl Ann said...

Paintball guns are great! I LOVE that idea!