Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Out of Order

I'm on the mend after a harrowing week in which I got walloped by multiple pesky health problems all at once.  I seriously thought I was going to die.  Technically, my symptoms can't kill me, but I felt like the intense pain was going to trigger a heart attack or stroke.  Also, no pain pills had any effect, so I had to keep putting myself to sleep with sleeping pills to get some relief, and I was worried that I might overdose, because my body was getting used to them and resisting sleep after a few days.  I felt like I really belonged in a hospital, but these are all symptoms I've discussed multiple times with multiple doctors, and there's nothing they can do for me.  I just have to suffer and wait it out.

My husband just happened to have scheduled a week off from work when all of this started, so instead of him getting some R&R on his vacation, he's been running around doing barn chores and taking the dogs outside on my behalf.  I feel so guilty.  I had set up a bunch of appointments the week before, and since I couldn't sit up or walk, I had to cancel most of them.

I don't like having to communicate with other people when I'm in this state, because no one understands and I just get frustrated.  Most people are healthy enough to have only experienced colds, flus, and possibly the Chicken Pox in their lifetimes.  My research tells me that I'm the only person in the world who has my problem.  I've actually had doctors shut me down when I explain my symptoms and what triggers what, because in their expertise, there is no correlation between the symptoms.  Yet I'm living proof, I'm right in front of them, and for whatever reason, they choose to believe research rather than a patient who lives with it.  I've found some people who have written about similar symptoms on the Internet, but their pain is minor compared to mine.  I have some kind of sensitivity that they don't experience.

Anyway, every time I have to talk to someone and tell them I can't do something because I'm sick, they always ask, "Oh, do you have a cold or the flu?" assuming that those are the only two illnesses in the world.  I suspect that they ask because they are trying to calculate when I will be well enough to reschedule, but the reality is that this can last anywhere from a few days to a few months.  My hair stylist called me back the very next day wanting to set up a new appointment for me, because I made the mistake of lying to her and saying I had the flu, and she assumed that it was the 24 hour flu.  So, after that I'd just tell people that I have 3 or 4 repetitive health problems and I got slammed with them all at once, then I quickly change the subject.  Those who push for more details get the silent treatment.  I don't want to open myself up to unsolicited advice when I know that I'm probably the only person in the world who has experienced this.

I thought I was free and clear to keep on sleeping until the pain subsided once my appointments were canceled, but that missing person in my life suddenly reappeared and contacted me for help.  I was like, "Really?  I've been looking for you for the past four months, and you suddenly resurface right when I'm essentially on my death bed and crippled and totally incapable of doing anything to help?  Really?"

Then my ex-neighbors contacted me to open up their house for a home shopper and show him the property lines.  I was so sick at that point that I couldn't even return their call until the next day, and fortunately they were wise enough to get someone else to do it.  I told them that I'm not in good shape and I should be their last resort.

I had kept my appointment with the equine vet and dentist, because I usually have to wait weeks to months for that annual meeting and because I thought I would be better by then, however I had a relapse on that day and started over from scratch with the pain.  My husband made other plans that day, so I had to push through the pain to feed the horses, clean up manure, and spray everyone with fly spray.  Of course, the ravens are nesting this time of year, so there was a shredded dead bird in the middle of the barn aisle that I had to clean up too.  Every step I took was excruciating.

I knew there was no way I could stand up and hold horses for two hours, so when the dentist arrived, I questioned her about how many people they were bringing to help.  Usually, there's a convoy of trucks and three to five people show up.  This time they had four, and she told me they shouldn't need my help.  I answered all of her questions and gathered supplies that she needed, and then tried waiting for the vet, but she was late, so I hiked back to the house to lie down.  Of course, she arrived as soon as I got into the house, so I had to turn around and hike all the way back down to answer her questions.  But I did get to lie down for most of those two hours, and I really appreciated their understanding.

The vet called me when they were done and told me that all four horses are in really good health, and other than a few sharp points on their teeth, they didn't need any special care.  That was music to my ears after all the hell I've gone through with my dogs.  Usually, one or two horses are overweight and have sand in their gut at the very least.  Since she couldn't find any problems, that tells me that all the adjustments I've made to their feeding routine are working.

That night I was trying to sleep to escape the pain, and I heard a crash coming from a part of the house that was vacant.  I jumped up and said, "What the hell?"  My first thought was the a dog knocked something down, but all three dogs were accounted for.  Then I thought someone was breaking into the house.  I limped to that end of the house and was hearing a loud noise coming from the guest bathroom, which has no windows.  I came around the corner to find the porcelain top to the toilet tank pushed up and sliding down toward the floor.  I grabbed it before it could break, and threw the T.P. rolls and trash basket sitting on top of it down onto the floor.

Right then this part inside of the tank blew up into the air like a rocket and a fountain of water came shooting out of the tank all over me and the floor.  I started screaming for my husband repeatedly as loud as I could, because I knew he was on the complete opposite end of the house and would have a hard time hearing me.  I tried shoving the rocket part back over the fountain of water, but there was too much pressure.  I then reached down to turn the water off behind the toilet, but the handle was missing!

My husband finally found me and told me to go get a tool.  I was trying to move as fast as I could while in pain, but I kept slipping on the tile floor because I was soaking wet.  I couldn't find the exact tool he needed, so I just grabbed a couple.  He then told me where to turn off all the water to the house, and I had to run outside to do that.  The whole time I was saying, "Really?  Really?  This has to happen NOW?"

The bathroom floor had almost an inch of water on it by the time we got control of the situation, and a bunch of my husband's books got wet along with the rolls of T.P.  It took half the towels in our linen closet to sop up the mess.  Hopefully, we won't get mold in our wood molding and on our carpet.  This makes the second time in a month that this same toilet has flooded our bathroom floor.  Last time the seal broke.  I hate summer, because once it heats up outside, everything mechanical starts breaking around our place.

While I've been out of it, a lot of other repetitive problems have creeped back since I'm not capable of fending them off.  The unknown neighbor who lets her two dogs run loose has started up that behavior again, so my dogs won't go to the bathroom outside because they are too busy sniffing the scents left behind by the strange dogs.  That means having to scrub the carpet again.  My favorite past-time.  Then one day I was lying on the couch writhing in pain while watching the teenage grandson of the neighbor behind me walk around in my backyard with a gun shooting quail and bunnies.  I swore I'd call the police next time he pulled that stunt, but I was in too much pain to deal with filing a report.  The mere thought of having to get up to put the dogs away so I can answer the door was killing me.  So, some poor animals died because of my inability to take action.

So, life's been hard.  It's been hard for a while.  I'm at a point where I'm just happy if I can sit up for a little while to write and do medical research.  I'm hoping the dogs will stay in this window of good health that they've had this past week just a little bit longer so that I can heal.


TeresaA said...

Oh dear! I hope that this episode does not last a long time!

Linda said...

I don't think medical science is all it's cracked up to be. I know I had a hard time figuring out Cowboy's issue. Never really did. We just happened to find a medication that helps a bit. It's hard not knowing what you're dealing with or how to fix it. I'm sorry you're going through all that.

Crystal said...

Well that sucks. Hope its short lived and you can get back to real life soon.

Grey Horse Matters said...

It sounds like hell. I hope you come through this medical problem soon and feel better. One bright note was the horses are all doing well.

ellie k said...

I am sorry you are having such a hard time, does what you have have a name or is it just so many things in your system that seems to take over. I wish there was something to help you, I will add you to my prayer list.
Today I took a hard fall at the grocery store, landed on my fore head, nose and knee. Blood everywhere from my head and nose. I am really sore tonight and will probably be more so tomorrow if so I will see my doctor. The store is remodeling and had part of the tile up and a rug that was a little high and I just fell flat. That is minor to you trouble and I don't have pets to tend. My son is here from Dubai so his wife is a big help.
Maybe you need to go to a place like Mayo Clinic and be completely checked out. Thinking about you and wishing you a speedy recovery

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Ellie - That fall sounds awful. I hope you heal up fast.