Thursday, June 1, 2017

May into June

I love it when I first turn the page on the calendar and see a blank slate in the month ahead of me.  I dream about all the things I've been wanting to do, but had to keep pushing onto the back burner.  Then usually within 48 hours, my calendar is full.  I can't logically explain how it happens.  I think part of it is that I realize that I have time to set up appointments for things I've been neglecting, and then as soon as I do, other people start calling me and sending me text messages and emails informing me that me or my pets or my vehicles are due for this or that.  Next thing I know, I don't even have time to eat or go to the bathroom because I have to be somewhere doing something every morning and every afternoon of every single day.

Lately, I've been neglecting myself.  I know this sounds ridiculous, but I've been waiting to feel well enough to see the doctor.  Usually, you are supposed to go to the doctor when you are sick, but I've been in too much pain to suffer through a car ride, sit in a waiting room, and then sit in an examining room.  This weekend I felt well enough to go to those horse clinics, and I was just waiting for the holiday to end so that the doctor's office would be open.  I keep having relapses, so I've resigned myself to believing that this latest ailment will never end without medical intervention.  I'm usually of the mindset that if I ignore something annoying long enough, it will go away, but this particular problem was a clinger.  I decided that since I have to see the doctor about this, I'm also going to ask for a referral to see a physical therapist about my arthritic leg.  The summer heat pretty much inflames everything and makes it difficult for me to walk.

Sure enough, as soon as I set up that appointment with my general practitioner, another doctor's office called to to say that I was overdue for an appointment.  I ignored that call.  I have to address what my problem is now.  Preventative medicine is a luxury to me, and I don't have time for it anymore.

I'm expecting this to be a hard summer because the heat exacerbates everything including causing mechanical things to break down, causing plastic items to rot and crack and require replacing, causing my dogs and horses to get sick, and causing me to feel more pain, and all of those situations were already pushing my limits before the heat came on the scene.  Scrappy got sick after I took him in to see the vet last week.  This happens to both of my older dogs every time I take them in to see the vet.  They instantly start vomiting and get diarrhea.  I don't know if it is stress, or that the vet's office is not clean and they are picking up bacterial or viral infections, or if it is reactions to the vet giving them new medications or changing the dosages of their existing medications.  All I know is that it makes life really hard on me.  It's frustrating going to a vet or doctor to get help, and coming out in worse condition than when you went in.

My doctor gave me some samples of a medicine to try to fix my most recent ailment, and I have to report back to him in a couple of weeks to let him know if the medication helped.  He also ordered tests, ordered physical therapy 3x a week, and ordered me to see a orthopedist.  So, now my entire summer is filled with medical appointments.  I miss the good old days when you saw one doctor one time and you were fixed.  Of course, my health problems were a lot simpler back then.  When I saw him, my body temp was low, my blood pressure was ridiculously high, and I somehow managed to gain 15 pounds despite me hardly eating anything beyond crackers and applesauce these past few weeks.  I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.

I'd been monitoring my blood pressure regularly before I got sick, and it was always perfect.  All I could figure out was that the pain was raising it, but it didn't make sense that it would raise it that much.  My blood pressure is normally around 118/70 with the help of medication, however on the day of my doctor's appointment, it was 155/90.  I thought it had to be a false reading, so I took it again later in the afternoon, and it was still up there.  So, I thought things through and remembered that when my pain was at its worst, I had to refill my pill dispenser, but I was in too much pain to walk to the other side of the house to get my reading glasses to read the labels on the pill bottles.  I tried to remember the size and color of each pill while sorting them, but I must have screwed up and switched out some blood pressure pills for something else like allergy pills.  So, that's one reason to take my pain seriously.  I could have caused myself to have a stroke because of that oversight.

I have a new problem in which I can't stay awake, so I started nodding off while sitting in the examining room waiting for the doctor to come in.  I had a thought that I should write down all of my symptoms, because I won't remember to tell him everything once we get talking.  But before I could pull a pad of paper and pen out of my purse, I smelled my mother sitting next to me.  She had a distinct smell when she was alive, and nothing can reproduce that smell.  I thought, "Wow.  Things must be bad if my mother is visiting me in spirit.  I haven't heard from her in a long time."  Then I fell asleep.

I don't know how much longer it was, but the doctor walked in and said, "Sorry to wake you."

Of course, since I never wrote down my symptoms, I forgot to talk to him about my vertigo and not being able to stay awake.  However, now I suspect all of that was related to my high blood pressure.  I guess I'll have to wait for the blood work to come back to find out why I had a low grade fever.  Hopefully, if the physical therapist can fix my leg, I can start exercising without pain and lose some of that weight.

I think I walked out of the examining room prematurely, because I remember the doctor was still asking me questions as I was walking down the hall.  I was in such a daze.  He yelled out, "How has your stress level been?"

I thought, "Well, I'm not working outside the home, so it can't be that bad."  So I told him it was good.  Then I got home and had to start dealing with taking the dogs outside every few minutes, cleaning up messes, changing diapers, etc., all the while my phone was ringing and people were leaving messages asking me to do them favors, and I thought, "Who am I fooling?  My stress level is through the roof."

My doctor's office is in an upper class neighborhood, but there are mentally ill homeless people who hang out near the medical building.  When I limped out to my truck, one man was screaming cuss words angrily at some imaginary person.  He was swinging his arms around wildly, like he was fighting him.  Then he looked at me with such rage that I ran to my truck, jumped in and locked the door behind me.  The man then began pacing back and forth in the parking lot entrance screaming bad words.  I had to wait for him to get off the driveway so that I could leave without having another run in with him.  That really shook me up.  I wish there was help for these kinds of people.  I know that the doctor's office will let them sit in the air conditioned waiting room if they are quiet, and give them water, but they really need to be on medication and have a permanent roof over their heads.

My daughter recently moved and was putting her bed up for sale, so I offered to buy it with the option for her to take it back if she needs it in the future.  We have this small bedroom in the back of our house that has only had a twin bed in it.  Whenever my son and his other half come to visit, they try sleeping in various locations, but are never comfortable.  So, I thought that swapping out the twin bed for a full bed might help with that issue.

We discovered that in order to get the bigger bed to fit, we'd have to remove some existing furniture.  I figured that since we have to move things around to make room for the bed, I may as well get that room set up the way I need it for my sewing and crafting hobbies.  My husband removed a big, bulky desk and hutch that no one was using, and I was able to get my two utility tables in there with all my sewing machines and serger.  I was also able to move all of the containers I had with other sewing supplies into the room.  That way I don't have to waste precious energy and time going back and forth between two rooms to get what I need.  The only thing I know for sure that won't make it into that room is my fabric stash.

Handling this project has been difficult between my body not cooperating and the dogs being sick.  We literally couldn't get one small task done without Scrappy running from room to room leaving squirts in every corner as he went.  He knows we get annoyed having to constantly take him out, so he waits until we aren't paying attention, and he poops in the house and uses the carpet as toilet paper.

We get so exhausted cleaning up his messes and standing outside with him on a leash that we have to rest.  Then once we are re-energized and get up to start moving furniture or organizing stuff, the whole fiasco starts again.  Now, even one of the horses has diarrhea.  I wish I knew what exactly was causing all of this, because I feel like I've been stuck in this cycle of cleaning up yuck non-stop for the past few months.  I haven't tested the water yet, but have ordered an at-home testing kit.  First, I wanted to change the filters to see if that made a difference, but it didn't.  Right now I've got to get myself functioning and get the dogs contained long enough for me to get something done.

I still haven't gotten my hair cut and dyed, so it's a rat's nest of gray tangles.  I had to postpone my appointment when I was sick, and have been playing telephone tag with the hair stylist ever since.  I finally decided to not use that salon since they don't have a receptionist.  It pisses me off when it takes up more of my time to set up the appointment than it does to show up and get it done.  I think I will just go into the city, even though it's a long drive.  My neighborhood is getting so depressed that the businesses are taking shortcuts that affect the customers negatively.  I don't know how the businesses can be struggling, because every year the snowbird population grows to the point where I can't even get any services or get into businesses while they are here.  It seems like they've got too many customers, yet they can't afford to hire receptionists and stock their shelves.  We have a new shopping center being built down the road, so hopefully that will breathe new life into the area.

It's been a week and a half since the horses' dental work was done, and both Lostine and Bombay still are not eating.  I wish I hadn't been in pain and hadn't gone in the house to lie down, because I want to know what went on.  Did the horses bleed a lot from their mouths?  Is this a reaction to their vaccines?  Is the heat affecting their appetites?  Or is it that they just hate this hay?  I hope I will feel well enough today to get to the feed store to buy different hay.  They've been living off of supplements alone.  This morning I didn't feed them the supplements to see if they would be hungry enough to eat the hay, but they turned their noses up to it.  When I can't do anything, it makes me realize just how much I normally do.

4 comments:

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Update: The water test kit arrived, and the water we've been drinking is fine. My blood tests came back claiming I'm healthy. What next? I did also get to the feed store, so now I have a few appetizing bales of grass and alfalfa to keep the finicky horses alive.

Linda said...

So, it was the hay? Oh, the mystery of horses. I wish they could talk. I have one losing weight for no darn good reason.

Congrats on your blood work coming back okay. Now, back to the drawing board?

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Linda - No, that was an assumption on my part. The bales looked good, but once I cut them open, the grass was a problem and the horses wouldn't eat it. They are happy to eat the alfalfa, though.

Linda Rez said...

Yeah, alfalfa is always a big hit with mine.